Today's PAYG centred on Mark 4: 21- 25

He said to them, ‘Is a lamp brought in to be put under the bushel basket, or under the bed, and not on the lampstand? For there is nothing hidden, except to be disclosed; nor is anything secret, except to come to light. Let anyone with ears to hear listen!’ And he said to them, ‘Pay attention to what you hear; the measure you give will be the measure you get, and still more will be given you. For to those who have, more will be given; and from those who have nothing, even what they have will be taken away.’

It's one those familiar parables that seems self-explanatory, that all the meaning has been wrung from it, that the light it provides has been uncovered... or has it?

As I listened this morning I was struck by the suggested motive of 'hiding' and 'secret' which is evidently 'disclosure' and 'coming to light.'  These seem actually quite positive reasons for hiding something until the time is right for it to be revealed... it reminded me of the way parents hide presents so that their children will be surprised on their birthday or at Christmas... it reminded me of surprise parties and mystery trips, planned to bring joy and pleasure to the recipient.  You don't hide a lamp that you bring into a house because it is self-evident that you bring it in for immediate use - but maybe other things are legitimately hidden or concealed 'for now.  As I type this, I find vague stirrings of a memory that a 'hidden messiah' motif may be present in Mark - all the 'say nothing to anyone' commands because it is not yet time for the grand 'reveal'.

I was also struck afresh by the 'measure for measure' message, usually seen as a kind of generous reciprocity: if you are kind you will receive kindness, generous generosity, etc. etc.  And if you don't have these then you will lack them even more.  But can this be read in the converse?  If you are angry you will receive anger, bitter bitterness, vengeful vengeance, etc. etc?  And it you do not have these characteristics does their potential grow less? 

Many years ago, having not long moved house, I was chatting to someone in a similar situation.  Commenting that people seemed to be friendly she observed that she had always been told that you find what you expect - if you expect people to be friendly, you will be friendly yourself, and vice versa.  It may not be entirely true, but its not a bad starting point.  'What you give is what you get' - if you expect the good you will find good.  'What you don't have will dwindle away' - values, attitude, practices, those we cultivate grow stronger, those we neglect decline.

All very fine and dandy but ultimately, 'so what'?  There seems to be something here about self-awareness and deliberately choosing to ‘grow’ positive attitudes to the inevitable detriment of negative ones.  Something about seeking and expecting to find good in others.  Something about the surprised delight when something that was ‘hidden’ or ‘secret’ is discovered – whether that is new knowledge, new friendship or shared understandings.

This may be in no measure :-) what the parable is about but it certainly brought a little more light to my thinking and reflecting.

In a bit of a Theresa of Avila moment, I will say for the umpteenth time how much of a slog it has been to write my conference paper.  I think it is nearly there now - need to shed about 300 words from the 'to read' version and move some stuff into an appendix for the 'to publish' version but overall, it's not looking too bad now.  It has definitely given me a sense of resolution that acadmeic research is not going to feature on my horizon any time soon.

BUT...

Over the last couple of weeks I have begun to feel the benefit of the hard work as every now and then ideas pop into my mind as I walk to or from church.  This has echoes of the walks into Manchester city centre of my student days, when I used to map out essays on paper serviettes whilst supping my skinny fairtrade latte in the foodcourt of the Arndale Centre.

This in turn gives me new energy with which to reasearch and reflect ahead of writing my sermons, and which hopefully means what I deliver is more interesting and inspired.

With that wonderful thing called hindsight, perhaps I soldiered on for too long before taking my sabbatical and then was so eager to get the most from it that I undertook way too much - certainly, whilst I really enjoyed it, I did not find it as refreshing or invigorating as I had hoped.  Or perhaps it is just that now is the 'favourable time', that the rash decision to offer a conference paper and the huge demands it has made on me have worked together for good, giving me renewed confidence for the challenges that lie, as yet unseen, just around the corner? Time will tell.  Whatever the future brings, for me at least it has been well worth the effort.

This evening I pruned another 500 words from my conference paper and rewrote a section I was unhappy with.  I then derived a shorter version that can be read aloud in the time allowed, phew.  Lastly I selected some photos for the PowerPoint to accompany the presentation... if nothing else it will hopefully help to signpost the sections of the paper and keep the listeners amused!

Don't think I've 'worked' this late for a very long time!

This morning was the pulpit swap - and I had a great time.

With strong Brethren roots, the morning began with a 'breaking of bread' service.  What struck me was that, apart from the man who began the service and the man who led the pre-communion prayer, every other speaker was a woman... once they stopped wearing hats the women had found their voices!  it was 'very' brethren in style with a contemporary feel.

Family Worship was well attended and carefully prepared.  Never before has the person who introduced me 'cyber stalked' (her words) me sufficiently to give a full CV/biography!  The joys of LinkedIn etc!  My John 4 'woman at the well' sermon seemed to be well received and certainly people were very attentive.

It was lovely to share fully in WPCU after a few years of not doing so... a great morning.

After an ebjoyable and productive  two and a half hour meeting this afternoon I am quite tired - and still have evening worship to go.   Day off tomorrow - phew!

Day 1 of my volunteer training course (really excellent, loads of ideas to take back to church for future use) and I was chatting to one of the other participants before it started.  Spotting my English accent she asked me, in a clearly East Midlands accent, where I came from origninally.  I replied that I grew up in Northampton, which prompted a further enquiry as to whereabouts... It only turned out we'd lived in the same fairly small village (she was born the year we moved away) and her older sister had been in the same class as my brother at school!  What are the chances...?  A very small world indeed.

Not expecting it to lead to any reunions or rekindling of old friendships but pleasantly curious all the same.