Or more to the point, what would Jesus say:

To my friend just diagnosed with brain mets...

To the friend who has spent the week fighting (no other word for it) to get her father a hospice bed...

To the person with the end stage condition that advances slowly and cruelly...

To the person waiting for a place in a care home...

To the person with 'POM' disease unable to see positives...

To the people who spent two days searching for a missing child, now believed to have died...

To the family of said child, now being questioned...

To the people who are shocked or angered by this news...

To the people I hear about on the news...

To me, delighting in my own disease free status, wrestling with words to say in diverse situation to people with a range of worldviews...

What would Jesus say?

Maybe:

‘Come to me, all you that are weary and are carrying heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me; for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.’

‘Do not judge, so that you may not be judged. For with the judgement you make you will be judged, and the measure you give will be the measure you get. Why do you see the speck in your neighbour’s eye, but do not notice the log in your own eye? Or how can you say to your neighbour, “Let me take the speck out of your eye”, while the log is in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your neighbour’s eye.'

'And remember, I am with you always, to the end of the age.’

We teach our children that 'Christ has no hands but our hands', likewise he has no mouth but our mouths...

May the words of my my mouth and the thoughts of my mind be as of Christ, inspired by love, characterised by grace, suffused in hope. Amen.

My apologies to anyone who is concerned that I haven't posted for a couple of days: the reality is that although I logged in a couple times, I had nothing worth saying so I quietly signed out again.

I read or heard somewhere recently that it takes three days to establish a habit and three weeks to break one.  I have no idea if that it true, but it is interesting that it is meant to be easier to start doing something than to stop.  I do wonder if context is needed, since I find it REALLY hard to establish some 'healthy' habits and no bother at all to establish less healthy ones!  Likewise it's easy to stop doing exercise or reading worthy books and difficult to abandon eating junk food or watching trashy TV.

Perhaps the difference is between 'habit' and 'habitus'.  If 'habit' is something we do regularly and perhaps unthinkingly, 'habitus' is far more conscious and involves practices consciously undertaken in line with our values and beliefs.  I think, if I am honest, blogging has become more 'habit' than 'habitus', something I do because I do it, rather than because I feel I have something to share.

I have been quietly reviewing aspects of my life, especially the more reflective, spiritual and 'professional', development parts, and am actively working to establish frameworks or structures that will nourish and nurture me as a perosn and as a minister.  So, I am exploring a couple of Baptist networks in England, one spiritual, one developmental, I am becoming a little more active in the life of both BUS and BUGB (without the two conflicting), I am training for a volunteer role with a national breast cancer charity and I am looking more critically at how I use my leisure time.  All of these help me to feel more energised, more alive and so help me serve better as a minister.  Maybe 'habitus' habits are those that give life rather than sap energy?

PAYG continues to be a daily friend, the first thing I do when I switch on my computer, and if I'm at home often shared by Holly:

After a much needed year off from the tyranny of Bible reading notes (of any hue) I am now using two 'popular' devotional readers, each of which manages to irritate me and each of which has nuggets of pure gold.  To this will be added some for of daily office, once I find the one that works for me.

And blogging?  Yes, that will still be part of my life.  And knowing me will still be pretty plethoric - after all any time I predict a quieter time, I write a dozen posts in short order.  I think I just want to be a bit more intentional about it, not habitually posting something for the sake of posting something.  Whether or not I will succeed only time will tell.

Thank you for continuing to read, and I hope whatever I write this year will interest and entertain you - this is never going to become a highly sophisticated or erudite blog!!

This coming Sunday the focus is the call of the first disicples according to John's gospel.  Yesterday I had lots of fun comparing the four gospels, reading assorted commentaries and beginning to think a bit about the similarities and differences in what is said and why.

I have one big fat NavPress book on the topic of disicpleship.  I don't much like it, because it has a defensive tone along the lines of 'we had to rescue this ancient understanding from dodgy liberals and main stream churches and make it our own' rather than 'hey, look what we can learn from Catholics, and those with a different emphasis in their theology'.  I also don't like that is way to literal and precise in its time-scale of Jesus ministry (this phase took x months - really?!).  Despite that, dipping into it was very helpful in stirring my creative juices.

I also have an equally fat book on the varied quests for the historical Jesus, which also talks a lot about disicpleship/ disciple making.  Not defensive, and pretty academic, it expresses ideas and prompted thoughts consistent with and/or complimentaty to, those in the first book.

PAYG this week also has a 'call and response' flavour to it (today was the call of Samuel), which adds another slant to my thinking and hearing.

Lots of ideas bubbling away in my subconscious which will, hopefully, emerge into a half-decent sermon.

So, a teaser for anyone who wants to do a bit of advance thinking - what are the first recorded words of Jesus and why?  (And yes, that question is deliberately open-ended as to which gospels you look in!)

Today has an odd start as I have an appointment at 10:30 to get my new lympohedema sleeve and glove... as my right hand is puffed up and straigthening my fingers hurts, I will be very glad to get it squished! 

Anyway, I have already done Sunday's PowerPoint and a round up of blogs and social media stuff...

New Blogger on the Block, well kind of, is Ruth my former research superivsor, preacher-inner and I like to think, friend.  I am looking forward to reading her musings and hope she will get some fun from blogging along the way.

Since (metaphorically) getting my fingers badly burned a couple of years back, I've been much more wary about linking cancer blogs.  But this one has been recommended to me by both ministers and medics and I've followed it on and off for a while.  It seems to be gaining a higher profile of late, is clearly genuine, and is a thoughtful, intelligent read.

I'm not a fan of soap operas, though ocassionally I succomb to 'River City' just because it's set in Glasgow.  Last night the Eastenders breast cancer story began in earnest, and for some reason it was on in the background as I did other stuff.  I think what surprised me was the detailed diagnosis and outline treatment plan that were given - a credible and realistic portrayal, but unusual.  Assuming they are sticking with a primary cancer story line, and assuming the script writer miracle cure doesn't arise, they are committing themsleves to a year long storyline - neoadjuvant chemo, mastectomy and radiotherapy.  I'm not suddenly going to become an Eastenders watcher, but if they manage a credible protrayal there is a lot of good that can be done.  In case anyone wonders, my diagnosis was different from that of 'Carol' but my treatment plan more or less the same; a credible portrayal won't be a copy of my experience, or anyone else's, but there should be moments that resonate.  Time will tell.

Looking forward to the rest of my week - plenty to occupy me one way and another.

The trip to New Zealand draws clsoer and looms larger, and I still have a lot of work to do on my conference paper - the first iteration is almost there but I feel a major rewrite might be a better idea, at least as an option once I can gauge the 'feel' of the event into which I am speaking.  The current version is a bit autoethnographic (so kind of reflective autobiography, with a fair few anecdote-type bits) and I think something a bit more structured/scientific might be a better contribution, at least from an academic viewpoint.  Not long now to get it done, but long enough, and each iteration helps clarify my thoughts.

Yesterday I booked a trip from Auckland to Rotarua - not exactly a cheap day out, but it sounds wonderful, and gives access to several 'must see' sites/sights.  I also advance booked the 'hop-on hop-off' tour bus which, whilst twice the price I've paid anywhere else, seems a good investment.  This morning I have order UEA and NZ currency - always makes me smile when you say to the bank (or whoever) I'd like 'this much' and they reply that they can offer you 'that much'.  Ah well, it will all come out in the wash, I'm sure.

Excitement and apprehenshion each beginning to develop, which, overall feels like a healthy balance.