As I was preparing for yesterday's sermon, one of the many things that struck me about the recorded temptations of Jesus was that it began with self-doubt, a questioning of identity... If you are...  My light bulb moment was when I imagined the thought running through Jesus' mind, "Am I who I am?  Am I the Son of I AM?" and the way this temptation is a cruel parody of the self-revelation of God to Moses that I AM who I AM; I will be who I will be.  "Am I the son of YHWH...?"  "Am I I AM?"

Probably everyone else has spotted that and played with the idea yonks ago, but it was new for me.

Today I saw this photo meme thingy on social media which shows scant knowledge of the scriptures (don't recall Jesus saying this) and possibly misses the whole I AM (ego eimi) thing let alone what YHWH tranlates to.  Or perhaps it's so subtle I missed it!!  It made me smile, and hinted that my thoughts on the tmeptation were probably not so wide of the mark!

The people who lead our evening services are once again using the CTBI Lent material as a jumping off point for our musings and worship.  Two weeks in, and I am very much enjoying what we have shared, which is refreshingly different and deeply challenging.

The first week we were invited to think about our finanical resources in the light of the parable of the sower.  Although this was not the intent, I found myself wondering what it might mean if I saw my money as the 'seed' and what it would mean to emulate the sower who broadcast the seed knowing that not all of it could or would yield a return.  I think that maybe such a view is quite liberating - allowing us to 'scatter' some of our wealth in less 'productive' areas of life without feeling guilty.

This week we were invited to use the parable of the tenants in the vineyard to reflect on our attitudes to the money we have.  A question that struck me especially was 'in what way or for whom is your bank statement good news?"  It's a fantastic question, and one that made me think very hard (last month's is mostly huge outgoings to hotels, tourist attractions and shops in New Zealand, though there are assorted planned and spontaneous charitable donations, gifts to others and payments for basics.)

I find myself wondering, then, how to hold these two thoughts together... like the sower to cast my resources widely, knowing that not everything will 'work' and to do so in a way that is as good news as possible for those who need to hear good news.

Good news for the shareholders of airline and hotel, supermarket and chain store

Good news for the manufacturer of packaging and product

Good news for grower...?  Well I hope so

Good news for the coffee shop, the cafe, the book shop, the charity shop

Good news for the public transport provider and taxi driver

Good news for the employees or volunteers...?  Well I hope so

Good news for the charities I choose to support

Good news for the university bursary schemes and religious organisations

Good news for the students, the misison partners...?  Well I hope so

Good news for my conscience, my pleasure, my health

Good news from my choices...?  Well... I hope so

I hope so...

This week's blog link is to that of a Baptist minister called Jo who I first got to know 'on line' and subsequently met a few times as she went through her NAM period.  She has blogged intermittently for many years, and this year it looks as if she is challenging herself to some Lent blogging.  I don't want to pressurise you Jo, but I do want to share your post on laughter.

We can make Lent such a solemn affair (with good reason) but there should still be space for laughter (remember what Jesus said about behaviour during fasts).

Here's the link to Jo's blog post

I saw a post on social media that made me smile.  In resposne to the pious Christian suffering caffiene withdrawal God says "did I ask you give up coffee for Lent?"  Today's PAYG focuses on Isaiah 58: 5 - 9a and the kind of 'fast' God desires... release from oppression, not self-flagellation.  Giving up can be a good disicpline but it can also be a pious trap.  Laughter is good for the soul - I'm sure it says that somewhere in Proverbs if only I searched hard enough!!

Looking Through the Cross, by Graham Tomlin, the Archbishop(s) of Canterbury's Lent book (commissioned by Rowan Williams, endorsed by Justin Welby) begins by inviting the reader to reflect on the difference between seeing (~ unconscious observation) and looking (~ deliberate, conscious observation) (paranthesised definitions my precis) before beginning to explore ways of looking, specifically looking 'at' and looking 'through'.  He then introduces the concept of an icon as the believer looks 'through', a bit like a window, before applying this idea to the Cross (or perhaps more accurately, the 'cross event').

Not, for me, anything vaguely new there.  Likewise the description of what Roman crucifixion actually entailed or the observation that crosses have been reduced to articles of jewellry not instruments of torture (with Nicky Gumbell cited if not by name!) is all stuff that to me is extrememly familiar.

This makes me wonder if he is assuming a very different starting point for his readers than mine.  Whilst I can appreciate that some more conservative, evangelical Christians might be slightly wrong-footed by the idea of 'icons', confusing them with idols (a distinction he is at pains to note) and even that some (maybe many) readers will have given little thought to 'types' of seeing, the need to eplxain what crucifixion really was is worrying... what are churches and Alpha courses actually teaching people?  Or am I being unfair, is he reflecting (another kind of seeing/looking) that there may/will be readers for whom none of this is familiar?

I am looking forward to getting into the book proper, at exploring how he envisages (seeing again) the cross as a lense, or even a pair of spectacles, through which to view aspects of human experience, I think it is a good and promising premise.  I guess that the first 30 odd pages have just left me distinctly underwhlemed.

I did a web search using 'ash wednesday poem' and basically up popped T S Elliott's long and complicated work.  So I tried again with 'lent poetry' and that was more successful.  Here is one that seemed quite fitting for the start of Lent, that challenges the white-washed tombs nature of strict outward obervance and inner corruption...

Lent

by

Robert Herrick

Is this a Fast, to keep
the larder leane?
and deane
from fat of Veales and Sheep?

Is it to quit the dish
of Flesh, yet still
to fill
the platter high with fish?

Is it to fast an houre
or rag’d go,
or show
a down cast look, and sour?

No: ‘tis a fast, to dole
thy sheaf of wheat
and meat
unto the hungry soule.

It is to fast from strife,
from old debate
and hate:
to circumcise thy life.

To shew a heart grief-rent;
to starve thy sin,
not Bin
and that’s to keep thy Lent.

What does the LORD require of thee, this only this: to do justice, to love mercy and to walk humbly with thy God.

When you fast.... wash your face, comb your hair.... and smile (CG paraphrase of JC!)