In an attempt to bridge the chasm between church and lunch club, we've decided that twice a year we'll take church to the sheltered complexes where many of the members live, and twice a year we'll invite them to a special of ours.  The first attempt occurs on Low Sunday, and yesterday I handed out slips for people to request hymns for us to sing.  The choices are, for the most part, predictable and frankly quite funereal, though there are a few really lovely ones.

What was more telling was the reasons stated for the choices - almost always that it was their parents' favourite - which probably means they last sang it at a funeral anyway.  These, mostly Victorian,  hymns would have been fairly 'modern' when these people's parents learned them and are now old standards.  I think what saddens me slightly is that these lovely people - mostly in their 80's, and ranging from 65 to 102 - don't 'own' any hymns or songs of their own.  What will their children or grandchildren choose, if anything, when the time comes to say 'goodbye'?

As I look back over my own family, and the funerals I've attended, at least we have always sung hymns/songs that mattered to the individuals rather than the ones that we happened to know because they were sung at funerals.

Still, we will sing the hymns that have been chosen, and I will make sure I have a suitably large supply of tissues on hand for 'Abide with me' (which is far too good to be kept for funerals anyway and was actually written, so far as I understand, as an evening hymn).  Old rugged crosses, unfailing love and protective sheperds - these are great themes to sing about even if I will have to blank the images and lily-scents of Loughborough Crem from my mind!!