This morning I was at a  funeral, supporting one of my church members whose mother-in-law died a week a go.  Because I was there in my official capacity I was 'vicared up.'  What I hadn't anticipated was people's ignorance of ecclesiastical issues...

I arrived at the church and met a piper who was there to play a lament as the family entered the church (the deceased originated in Ayrshire and had held fast to her roots).  He asked me if I knew what was happening, and I explained it wasn't my church, so I was sorry, I couldn't help him.

I walked around the building looking for an entrance and met someone else who said, 'can you tell me where to go in.'  Same explanation.

Having got inside a third person came and asked me if I had the key for the toilets which were, evidently, locked.  Once more I explained that this wasn't my church, so I couldn't help.

You might be thinking this is all my own fault for looking like a 'vicar' when it's not a funeral I'm taking - but the crazy part is that this was a Roman Catholic church.

So, you may now all address me as Mother Catriona, if it helps... or not.

Not having been at a funeral Mass since my RC placement days, I'd forgotten the jack-in-the-box way that priests appear and disappear from the side door of the church, and was struck by how 'wrong' it felt that there was no one to greet the mourners as they arrived and lead them into church (excepting the undertakers of course).  The coffin had been brought in the night before (RC tradition in some places) and if seemed really weird to watch everything going on around it as people arrived.

Managing to speak to my church member fleetingly after the service before I dashed back for lunch time prayers, she said she was glad I was there to sing - as hardly anyone else did!

I struggle with requiem masses whereby the mourners are excluded from communion because they don't 'tick the boxes' whilst total strangers file past them to receive.  I struggled with the noise of a woman loudly telling her rosary before the service began - not because I have a problem with telling rosaries (in principal I don't, even if I wouldn't say the 'hail Mary's') but because it felt a bit of a 'show.'  Above all it made me think once more about the funerals I take and how they might 'feel' to non-Baptists, never mind non-Christians.

The priest seemed a kindly and caring man, and I'm sure he offered the very best he could.  When I conduct my first RC funeral mass it will be very different!!! ;-)

Now I just have to handle some very naughty undertakers who have committed me to take a funeral without even consulting me to see if I'm free.  It is only pastoral sensitivity that means I'm going to do it - I don't see why the families should suffer - but it's not on.