Today I went along to Sainsbury's to buy our 200 8p light bulbs (still the chepaest indiviually boxed ones I've found) for the Cracking Christmas event.  I was relieved that there more than 200 on the shelves so that I could take what I needed without either having to ask for them or denyng some other poor HMF funded minister a light bulb if she/he needed one.

When I got to the checkouts a rather bemused woman said 'gosh, you must have a big house' - giving me an opportunity to explain why I was buying them.  Afterall, only very mad vicars buy 200 lightbulbs at once.  It all became even more fun when the scanner would not allow her to have '200' or '100' of an item.  It would allow 50, so we go there with four lots of fifty bulbs.

Now I'm trying to sort out how to get as many words as we need onto a label that will fit the boxes!  For this I spent four years studying theology!!

Having reconnected with corny Christian stuff, here's another old favourite... theological suicide but great fun!

There are three good arguments that Jesus could have been black
1) He called everyone "brother."
2) He liked Gospel.
3) He couldn't get a fair trial.

But then, there are 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was Jewish
1) He went into his fathers business.
2) He lived at home until he was 33.
3) He was sure his Mother was a virgin.

Then again there are 3 arquments that Jesus might have been Italian.
1)He talked with his hands.
2) He had wine with every meal.
3) He used olive oil.

There is a good chance that Jesus was a Californian
1) He never cut his hair.
2) He walked around barefoot all the time.
3) He started a new religion.

There are three equally good reasons that Jesus might have been Irish.
1) He never got married.
2) He was always telling stories.
3) He loved green pastures.

But the most compelling evidence of all shows that Jesus was a woman.
1) He fed a crowd at a moment's notice when there was no food.
2) He kept trying to get a message across to a bunch of men who didn't get
it.
3) Even when he was dead, He had to get up because there was more work to
do.

Today I made contact with a 'new' woman minister on the adjacent 'plot' to mine.  I was shocked to discover I was the first minister other than her circuit colleagues to do so - and I was only doing so out of courtesy because a couple of my people might be heading her way.  She was fun to chat to, blunt, honest and deeply committed to alternative worship and mission (see, despite local reluctance over women, alternative worship and mission, God keeps sending us to this corner of the Kingdom!  Now we have 3 Baps, one Anglican and 1 Methodist).

Anyway, Barbara reminded me of this, which is corny, fairly accurate scripturally (except on Mary Magdalene and the Samaritan woman) and good for the ministerial ego!

Noah was a drunk
Abraham was too old
Isaac was a daydreamer
Jacob was a liar
Leah was ugly
Joseph was abused
Moses had a stutter
Gideon was afraid
Samson had long hair and was a womanizer
Rahab was a prostitute
Jeremiah and Timothy were too young
David had an affair and was a murderer
Elijah was suicidal
Isaiah preached naked
Jonah ran from God
Naomi was a widow
Job went bankrupt
Peter denied Christ
The Disciples fell asleep while praying
Martha worried about everything
Mary Magdalene was, well you know…
The Samaritan woman was divorced, more than once
Zaccheus was too small
Paul was too religious
Timothy had an ulcer…AND
Lazarus was dead!