Life - or more precisely, death - goes on in Dibley and instead of slowing down for spring it seems to be increasingly impacting my little church. (As I type that I suddenly feel self-conscious, I recently heard another minister saying it annoyed them for other ministers to refer to churches as 'mine'. I think I get his drift but what other word should I say? 'Our' perhaps). Yesterday I had two visits to a Leicester hospital where one of my folk is spending their final days/weeks because the professionals thought that yesterday might be 'it' (as it happened it wasn't) fitted around two services (D+1 (cluster pulpit swap) and the local Penties), today I am interring the ashes of another and on Friday conduct the funeral for the brother of yet another. Updating some my folk yesterday, one of them said 'make it stop, I'm bored of death now.'
This made me think. Why is it we become like little children wanting nasty (as we perceive it) things to stop or go away? Why is it that despite our oft quoted Christian hope we still find death so difficult? And is it OK to get 'bored' with it?
One day last week a few of us were talking about the requests for last week's funeral (ashes today) that everyone wear something red, and got onto the mechanics of funerals at crematoria. I commented that I quite often have to deal with mis-concpetions such as 'the coffin goes through' i.e. straight into the cremator, the moment the curtains close or people who think they can collect the ashes on their way out as well as all the myths about district heating, reused coffins and mixed up remains. One person stated very strongly 'I'd rather not know.' And I found myself wondering 'why?'
It seems to me that in 21st century Britain (and most of 20th century Britain) we have got too far removed from death - it mainly happens in hospital, the last offices are carried out by a nurse, the undertaker does all the work of preparation and, for the most part, we arrive at a clinical crematorium to greet a shiny wooden box adorned with several hundred pounds worth of hot house flowers. Add to this the general decline in a sense of hope beyond the grave - how many people actually have a clue what I mean when I speak of 'sure and certain hope' - and the incredible efforts to extend/prolong life at all costs (or so it seems) and it is no wonder people want it all to go away.
What a marked shift from the wonderful description of death in the hymn 'All creatures of our God and King':
And thou, most kind and gentle death
Waiting to hush our latest breath
O praise him, alleluia
Thou leadest home the child of God
And Christ, the Lord, the way hath trod
O praise him, alleluia
One of my favourite explorations (no, I don't mean explanations) of death is in the children's bereavement book 'Waterbugs and Dragonflys' which sees it as absolutely natural and a mere, but inevitable, transition from one form of life to another.
Make it stop? Sorry, no can do. And on reflection why would I want to anyway? As the 'teacher' in Ecclesiastes says "there is a time to be born and a time to die." I wouldn't mind a few less two-part funerals all at once, and I wouldn't mind it all being shared a little more widely than this shrinking little church, but I think what is really needed is a change in our thinking not a change in in the natural order of things.