Way back at the beginning of September last year, when I knew in abstract what lay ahead of me, but had yet to receive any advice/guidance on what that meant in terms of day-to-day living, I bought a jar of lime marmalade, along with a few other (long forgotten) luxuries that were intended to make the process a little kinder.  As marmlade was a banned product, said jar lay unopenned until this morning... Six months on it did not disappoint - tangy and tasty on my morning toast.  Yum!

Slowly I am re-introducing foods from the former banned list.  It has to be said that I've got accustomed to living without them, so there doesn't feel any hurry about this... but it's a great excuse to indulge in a few luxuries now and then.  Will I regain my taste for smelly or soft cheeses?  Is yogurt all it's cracked up to be?  Do I actually like pate or smoked fish?  Only time will tell!

Just checking in - albeit later than usual.

After supplying the NHS bio-waste department with another 240ml of gunge from my seroma, I went to test out a new cafe near home... The latte was fine (but mea culpa, didn't check its Fairtrade status, so I'll have to go back to see...).  Spent 2 hours fitting 24 pieces in the EADJ - two swirls and a fish - before deciding it was time for a break.

Looking forward to a long weekend seeing two lots of frineds from Down South so may be 'off line' for a few days.  Don't panic!!!

Today is exactly one month since my surgery took place.  On the whole my scars are healing well and even regaining a bit of 'feeling' which means it now hurts when I have to pull of the tape in order to rub in the E45.  E45 - I should have shares in that company by now, I've bought so much of the stuff.

It's good to pause and take stock of how far I've come in that month because it could all too easily just drift into the next phase.

When I left hospital I was astounded at quite how tired I was - most days of that first week I was tucked up in bed by 7 p.m. (though it has to be said I didn't sleep during the day at all).  Now I am living full length days, if not filling them with all that much activity.

When I saw the radiotherapist a fortnight ago she fell about laughing at the lack of movement in my 'affected arm'.  Now it is almost back to normal - a couple of inches left to go to get full extension - and importantly I can lie with it above my head pretty much pain-free.

In the first three weeks changing the steri-strips and later tape on the scar on my back was an acrobatic feat, juggling the tape in the hand of my one functional arm whilst lookign in the mirror (the nurse was impressed with my handiwork!).  Now I can use both hands and it is incredily simple!

A month ago my brain was pure mush - concentration was almost non-existent and I even sometimes found myself scrabbling for specific words.  Now, after a normal jigsaw, a knitted teddy bear and part of a super fiendish jigsaw I am feeling more alert - and even read an extended complex article online today.

This week I have begun taking daily walks again - typically 2-3 miles - and today for the first time I ventured into town on the train!  I am definitely feeling better for the exercise.

At four weeks post-surgery I am now about to start the 'advanced' exercises for my arm and feel much stronger than I did even a week ago.  There is still a way to go to regain that last bit of movement in my arm, and a long wait until I can even think about resuming any weightbearing acitivities, but on the whole things are going well and I feel a lot brighter.

I think, to give it a hiking metaphor, it's been like walking through a boggy field, in which your feet get sucked into the mud and sometimes it feels like you're going backwards, not forwards.  Then, all of a sudden you look up and see the gate at the far end is not so far away (and hope that the cattle don't all congregate there just as you arrive!).

The last stage of my 'journey' through active treatment is the radiotherapy, which begins in April and will consist of twenty-five zappings over a six-week period.  Hopefully between now and then I'll be out of the boggy field and along the path again for a bit of easy walking...

Crocuses (croci?)  and Rhodedendrons in the local park... enjoy

An old hymn comes to mind...

Yes God is good. In earth and sky,

In ocean depths and spreading wood,

Ten thousand voices seem to cry:

God made us all and God is good.

I lent my copy of this little book to one of my choir last year - and last I knew it was still making its way round the choir...

Interpret as you will! 

Later editions are available.

So this one from Archdruid Eileen amused me.

All of which reminds me of the joke I first heard way back in the 1970's and which still crops up from time to time...

A minister was being shown the new church building, equipped with every modern gadget.  As he (it was the 1970's afterall) walked into the worship space he noticed there were no seats, and commented on this.  The steward pressed a button and up popped a row of seats right at the front of the church.  The steward explained that until this row was filled no more seats would appear but, once it was, this row would glide backwards and a new row would appear in front of it.  So it went on... devices to ensure good singing, good coffee, etc. etc.

Finally the minister approached the lectern/pulpit.  It was fully adjustable for height, had plenty of space for his papers and Bible; overhead was an illuminated sign that flashed 'listen' as he began to speak.  Wow, he said, this is marvellous.  Ah yes, said the steward but the best bit is the auto-timer... if the sermon exceeds twenty minutes a trapdoor opens and the preacher disappears...

I'm sure others tell it better but it still makes me smile.