Bah, humbug! I order some Advent books from Amazon which they promised faithfully to deliver by 3rd December - later than I'd have liked, but just about acceptable.  Today a ple of emails arrived saying they were sorry, they'd now be dispatched after 27th Decemebr...!  I know I could cancel the order, but maybe I'll just do Advent in January instead?  Thankfully I did get something from SPCK, so I'm not totally without resources.

Just as well I've pre-ordered the Archbishop's Lent book methinks!

That's it, I declare the silly season well and truly open - two Christmas fayres in as many days.

Last night Dibley Primary School where, for the third year, we ran a free/donations to PTFA funds craft stall.  Although we still hadn't made it onto the official plan, at least this year people just about recognised us and knew roughly what we were offering.  Our cracker making proved very popular, and we soon ran out, whilst card making kept some busy for a good half hour at a time creating amazing works of art.  What was good was chatting to one or two parents I now recognise, and one or two people saying they'd come along to our past carol events and enjoyed them.  It has taken three years to get this far - and not a small amount off sheer bloody mindedness on my part to keep it going (ah - that's what bleeding mission means!) but finally it's starting to pay off.  We gave about £14 to the PTFA from donations made on our stall, spoke to lots of people and gave out invitations to our Sing Christmas event - two hours well spent, I reckon.  Hopefully me little cohort of helpers are encouraged enough that they will report back to church and want to build on this..

Today D+2 Christmas Fayre where I was face painting.  I don't want another request for Spiderman for a very long time, even if he is easy to do.  I also did a lot of butterflies and flower fairies, the odd clown and one dalmation puppy.  I'm not a fan of church fayres, being of the view that suporting our day to day costs by selling tatty books and bric-a-brac is missing the point somewhere.  I struggle with a lot of what happens at D+2's fayres - raffles, alcohol tombolas and the like.  It is an area where gambling and alcohol fuelled problems are rife, and it seems to me the church is feeding not challenging this status quo.  Nonetheless, it is a good community event, attracting a lot of people from the adjoining area who would not otherwise ever cross the threshold, and they do receive a very warm welcome.  There was a simple, nutritious, dirt cheap lunch on offer - two courses and change from £1.  I abandoned charging for face painting because even my 50p charge was too steep for some, instead I painted first and let people pay what they felt 'up to 50p' afterwards - quite a few gave more - so in the end I contributed the grand sum of £11 to the £900 total! 

So, as I reflect, I come back to my starting point on church fayres.  I don't have a problem with them being used to raise money for other charities but baulk at them being a means of paying our own bills.  I do see them as an opportunity to meet more people and offer them something they won't find elsewhere.  I end up back at our outreach events, I guess, where we don't charge anyone anything and the church(es) is(are) expected to cover the costs from mission budget(s).  We say long and loud that God gives us the greatest free gift - and then we expect people to buy tat to pay for the upkeep of the organ/steeple/minister; to me this is a contradiction.  Much better we give away things and let people ask why there's no charge - whether that's fairy face painting, card and cracker making or, as we'll do in a fortnight, tea to 100 senior citizens.

This week's Baptist Times has published a couple of letters in repsonse to the Apology for Slavery issued by BUGB.  Whilst they raise valid issues, I find myself irritated by them, because they feel as if somehow there is a holier-than-thou mood about them.  I'm sure this isn't what was intended, I'm sure it's just me.  I'm trying to grow in grace!

One comment was on Baptist ways of doing things - essentially that Council didn't have the right to issue this without it going to Assembly first.  The letter points to the way we (theoretically) conduct church business and reads across.  It makes sense but... surely this was a moment when delay was unhelpful.  Also, if we take seriously our history, the old Assemblies which did make bold statements on issue have in real terms been superceded by Council.  I fear we are putting protocol in where it suits us, and happliy ingnoring it where it doesn't.

Another comment seemed to pick up something about tokenism - but which way I wasn't sure.  If we are giong to apologise over slavery, it asserted, what else?  There could be an endless list - indeed there could.  If the point was, as I'm sure it was, that we must beware tokenism, it was a valid one.  However, isn't it good if we've finally recognised the need for confession and apology and taken a step to be different from now on?  I think it is.

I recognise that we cna't be forever issuing apologies on this, that or the next thing, and lots of the 'sins of the parents' we do not know about.  But the wonderful General Confession prayer which is printed inside the cover of such delights as BPW or BHB offers us a good model for approaching this... 

Father eternal, giver of light and grace,
we have sinned against you and against our neighbour,
in what we have thought,
in what we have said and done,
through ignorance, through weakness,
through our own deliberate fault.
We have wounded your love
and marred your image in us.
We are sorry and ashamed,
and repent of all our sins.
For the sake of your Son Jesus Christ,
who died for us,
forgive us all that is past;
and lead us out from darkness
to walk as children of light.
Amen.

(This version, B33 Common Worship)

If we, as Baptist Christians could truly pray this prayer, truly live its outworking, wow, what a difference that would make to this battered world of ours.

In so far as it is in my gift, I am sorry for the evil perpetrated by those from whom I am descended genetically, nationally or spirtually, and pray that the God who forgives, will give me grace to live in penitence and faith.

Another buzz phrase from today's events in Didcot.

When I had a real job, several people I know had a little A4 poster on their notice boards that said "every day I have to add to the list of people who p*** me off" then a space to add 'today's names' and 'permanently p***ed off by...'

Such people were referred to today as grace growers - those people who come into our lives in order to help us grow in grace.  It's certainly a more constructive way of looking at it...

Every day certain people help me to grow in grace...

Today's grace growers are...

The long term grace growers are...

 

What d'you reckon?  How have I helped you grow in grace?! ;-)

No, I haven't lost my rag and decided to swear at my PC, or the world, it is one of the titles used by one of the speakers at today's Small Churches day at Didcot.  The logic was, as I recall it, the Greek word for 'witness' (noun) is, in anglicised form, 'martyr', and martyrs as we think of them are people who shed their blood for their cause, so mission is about witnessing, about shedding blood, about bleeding (at least metaphorically) in the cause of the Kingdom.

In one sense, today didn't tell me anything new: I am now an experienced small church minister, I know the centrality of mission, of knowing and understanding your community, have preached til I'm blue in the face about mission as the reason the church exists...  I know about the limits and opportunities of being a small church, I know about the tensions, I know where the BUC guidelines are and even have most of the books they showed us (though for some reason were not selling the Toolbox for Small Churches).  The best part for me was the presentation of the ideas for moving Home Mission forward in ways that will make the whole thing more effective - though it will be some time before that is able to find expression because of the necessary wheels grinding their way forward.

This is the passage that I wish had been used in the opening worship session...

As Jesus was walking beside the Sea of Galilee, he saw two brothers, Simon called Peter and his brither Andrew.  They were casting a net into the lake, for the were fishermen.  "Come, follow me, " Jesus said, "and I will make you fishers of men and women,"  At once they left their nets and followed him.  (Matt: 4: 18-20, NIVi)

What was used was, granted, a more pedantically correct translation of the Greek, but not the intent... and when we are supposedly a fully inclusive communiity (discuss!) and when we want to attract people who have not grown up with gendered langauge as 'normative' it is time we - and especially those in corridors of power - got our heads around this issue.   Ten years ago I'd never have believed I'd be a strong advocate of inclusive language... but then this time ten years ago I was still a few days from hearing God call me to ordained ministry - a lot's happened since then.

Yesterday I was involved in some Association work where we picked out as key issues topics of small and tiny churches, women ministers and the multi-racial, mutli-cultural, multi-faith dimension of working in our part of our Association.  Bleeding mission - being sacrificial witnesses to the Good News of Jesus is a massive task.  In some ways I feel that EMBA is small church writ large - compare our geographical area, membership and staffing levels with other Associations and you see what I mean.

It has been a good, if tiring, couple of days, and it doesn't get any easier from here to Christmas.  We were reminded today that at Christmas we recall how God does small, weak and vulnerable - a baby born to a couple far from home; how God speaks through people outside the 'church' and outside our faith - shepherds and magi; how mission is risky - Herod's massacre, Jesus, Mary & Joseph exile to Egypt; etc etc. 

I think, on balance, it was a worthwhile day, a good two days, in which I have begun to see more clearly some of what God might be saying to me about my role in the Missio Dei - the mission of God - in Dibley, Leciestershire, EMBA and the ends of BUGB!