It's been a busy week, and although I've been quietly mulling over two/three acts of worship and seminar for which I am responsible tomorrow, I am still in the process of getting any of that onto paper.  I am having lots of fun, really enjoying researching and playing with ideas... even if there's a danger I'll end up with the basis for an MA module rather than a 60 minute seminar along the way.

Probably spending around three hours creating a visual aid for something that will take around ten minutes is a bit OTT... but it's pretty much the way I'm wired.  I do remind myself that 'the best can be the enemy of the good' but I want to ensure people have a good experience, and that can drive me to rather excessive levels of preparation!

So, a quick few minutes distraction to compose a blog post may, afterall, be no bad thing!

This evening I created this 'graph', a bit of fun when my mind went off on a little tangent it found interesting when I was doing some preparation for Sunday's 'Away Day' and a session I'm facilitating on 'creating worship'.  It shouldn't really have the lines, it should just have data points, but the lines enable the pattern, such as it is, to be seen.  As to what it is... well, that'd be telling, but if you know your church calendar you can probably work it out without too much trouble!

Still lots of work to do tomorrow, but it's getting there!

I thought I'd share this, which is being used on Sunday evening, to see what anyone reading makes of it...  I think it's rather lovely.

By the Glorious Morning Light,

And by the Night when it is still -  

Thy Guardian-Lord hath not forsaken thee, nor is He displeased.

And verily the Hereafter will be better for thee than the present.

And soon will thy Guardian-Lord give thee that wherewith thou shalt be well-pleased.

Did He not find thee an orphan and give thee shelter and care?

And He found thee wandering, and He gave thee guidance.

And He found thee in need, and made thee independent.

Therefore, treat not the orphan with harshness,

Nor repulse the petitioner unheard;

But the bounty of the Lord - rehearse and proclaim!

When I was starting out in ministry, there was a popular concept in the area of church health which was the "non-anxious presence", that is, the person (ostensibly the minister) who, in the midst of whatever change or conflict or circumstance, remained calm and unruffled and therefore enabled everyone else to feel that all would be well.

A very wise, long-experienced minister, when sharing these ideas with us, said he did not think there was any such thing, because we are (or become) part of whatever it is,and of course have feelings, stresses and anxieties.  He preferred the term, 'less anxious presence', which is one to which I aspire... not denying the legitimate concerns of others and myself, but not being constrained by them.

This week I have wound up having two the most stressful things in my personal calendar... a haircut and a  dental check up, thankfully not on the same day.  I don't know that I would ever have labelled what I experienced as 'anxiety' at least not in a medical sense, but certainly in the hours leading up to either I tend to become more tense and nervous, watching the clock lest I am late, and not wanting to arrive too early and be stuck in the waiting room.

The difference is, that this week, neither was traumatic (maybe that's an overstatement!) indeed, on neither occasion was I nervous, anxious, stressed or any other negative emotion; rather I was totally calm and relaxed.  I was, if you like, a less anxious presence.

I have to assume that this is an unexpected bonus of what I am terming 'Drug B' which seems to have wiped away my menopausal bad moods without turning me into a zombie.  Indeed, it would appear to have made me marginally gallus, as I actively sought a treatment plan from my dentist to replace some rather old fillings over the next couple of years!

It's kind of funny to discover only by its absence just how significant that mild anxiety had been.  And I hope it's made me a little more empathetic to other people who might be similarly affected.

Starkly different, as expressed in local idiom... that's my response to switching from Drug A to Drug B last week.

After a month of being a sleepy, lethargic zombie, just five days into the new drug I am transformed!  I seem to have the benefits of not being irritable and grumpy without losing my joy and zest for life.  The new drug has no effect on the flushes or sweats, which are back to full force now, but, so far, I am continuing to sleep quite well.  Indeed, this morning, despite only having had five hours slepp (late night) I woke up ready to go and had to choose to stay in bed a little bit longer in order to rest!

So far, then, so good...