There is a concept sometimes used in pastoral care (and palliative care) of those with end-stage disease that speaks of "one last good day" - the one, often surprising, surge of vibrancy and joy, laughter and activity that occurs very close to death.  The trouble is, of course, that only retrospectively can this be identified... "good days" and "not good days" arise naturally, and even if the trajectory is inevitably towards the end, there can often be no way of being sure when it is "the last time".

When I took Holly to the vet on Tuesday, she was a very sick cat: lethargic, hiding away and obviously in pain.  After some painkillers, she perked up and seemed to enjoy herself, sleeping in the open and enjoying being stroked.  On Wednesday after anaesthetic and steroids she was very out of sorts - not in any obvious pain but quite disorientated... had I done the right thing?  Then yesterday, when I arrived  home she strolled to meet me, tail curled up, purr on max... she had eaten all her food and wanted more; she jumped up next to me and enjoyed lots of fuss... this morning she actually came into my room to demand breakfast, and having eaten some is now curled up next to me, snoozing gently.

I expect this is one last "good weekend" because Holly is a very ill cat... but she is not in any obvious pain, she is warm, content and loved.  On Wednesday I will take advice from the vet on whether it is fair to her to prolong treatment.  For now, though, whilst there are jobs to be done, my intention is to enjoy this "good day" with the cat who has given me so many "good days" of my own.

Here she is, on Thursday evening giving me one of her "looks" and still as gorgeous as ever...

BPW 144, a five verse contraction of J M Neale's translation of the 12th century latin hymn of the "O" (or "oh" antiphons...

O come, O come, Immanuel,
and ransom captive Israel,
that mourns in lonely exile here
until the Son of God appear.
    Rejoice! rejoice! Immanuel
    shall come to thee, O Israel!

O come, O come, Thou Lord of might,
who to Thy tribes, on Sinai's height,
in ancient times didst give the law
in cloud and majesty and awe.

O come, Thou Rod of Jesse, free
Thine own from Satan's tyranny;
from depths of hell Thy people save,
and give them victory o'er the grave.

O come, Thou Day-spring, come and cheer
our spirits by Thine advent here;
disperse the gloomy clouds of night,
and death's dark shadows put to flight.

O come, Thou Key of David, come,
and open wide our heavenly home;
make safe the way that leads on high,
and close the path to misery.

Occasionally I annoy people by playing around with words... such as the 'O' in this great hymn.  For it is not just "Come, Immanuel" but "O Come, Immanuel"

O (or oh) can be an expression of surprise - this is something unexpected... O! wow!  Emmanuel is coming!  Amazing.

O (or oh) can be a question - can it be so?  O? really?  Emmanuel is coming? Amazing.

O (or oh) or maybe ooo(h) can be an expression of wonder, delight, pleasure... Ooooh... golly gosh... Emmanuel is coming.  A-may-zing.

O (or oh) can be an expression of longing, yearning, a wistful word... O... I so hope it might be... Emmauel is coming.  How amazing that would be.

O (or oh) can express doubt or disbelief, questioning the very possibility... O?  Really?  Emmanuel is coming?  We'll see!

And I have a hunch that in this mischievous playing with words we find new or forgotten insights into the mystery expressed here.  Wonder mixed with questioning mixed with longing mixed with surprise... we can never quite grasp what it's all about, but it happens that in some way God is with us, entering our world in ways that defy explanantion and cause us to gasp "Oh!"

I rather like this version of the hymn, sung by Enya:

Today's carol is BPW 143, "Hark the glad sound the saviour comes"

The available video is either from the USA (so the "wrong" tune), very shaky amateur stuff or this organ only version of the music with a slightly nutty musical intro from the production company...

Given it's by Doddridge, it is public domain in its original form, so quoting the whole thing won't get me into too much trouble (the version in BPW has some modernisation to lyrics so copyright applies and not cited here)

BPW 142 - Hail to the Lord's annointed.

verse 2 says

He comes with comfort speedy

To those who suffer wrong

To help the poor and needy,

And bid the weak be strong;

To give them songs for sighing,

Thier darkness turn to light,

Whose, condemned and dying,

Are precious in his sight

Updated language has transformed 'succour' to 'comfort' which doesn't quite carry the same sense, but I suppose is more colloquial.  Succour suggests help, assitance, an active participation in the suffering, whereas comfort is more passive, if no less important.

This evening I'm a little sad, as I have had the news that my pet cat has secondary cancer.  The condition she has (feline lung-digit syndrome) is evidently quite rare but she's the second cat I've had who has developed bone metastases in a hind leg... the Law of Murphy or of Sod, the randomness of cancer, means it can strike twice in the same place.

Succour speedy has come my way, in the practical help and kind concern of friends.  Across the whole UK dodgy theology of prayers for feline healing, crossed human digits and even some distant reiki healing (whatever that is) have been expressed.  Lifts to the vet, concerns for me...

One terminally ill pet cat is nothing in the grand scehme of things... and yet she is precisely an example of the referents of this verse... The God who sees sparrows fall to the ground cares for my poorly moggy... and the God who counts hairs on human heads is there in the hell-on-earth situations of which we read.

A song in a minor key, from sighing, in sighing, through sighing, beyond sighing...

Today's PAYG was based on part of Isaiah 11 and, refreshingly, invited the hearer to imagine how Jesus might have become aware of these words, firstly as a child, then pondering them as a young man.  In the midst of the reflection was a throw away line roughly thus: "the lion and the bear might object to going vegetarian as part of a less violent, more just, world". 

The new world order might not be everything we would like!  More justice and less violence might mean us relinquishing aspects of life that we enjoy or find rewarding... as one of my college tutors used to remind us that her father (a minister) always said when speaking of heaven, "[Jesus] never said we're going to like it".

Sung to the tune 'Picardy', the hymn "Earth was waiting, spent and restless" captures something of this mystery and tension... that what we long for may not prove entirely what we imagine, that hope and fear are inevitably mingled as we move onwards towards the horizon of history and the eternal reign of Christ.

BPW 141

Earth was waiting, spent and restless

With a mingled hope and fear;

And the faithful few were sighing,

"Surely, Lord, the day is near;

the desire of all the nations,

It is time he should appear."

W C Smith

Can't find a decent video clip for this, and, in an attempt not to breach too much copyright, only citing one verse - but you can for it look on line I'm sure.

I wonder what I will not like about the new creation...?  Lots to ponder there!