Last night at the serivce we led at a rural church, we sang a setting of St Patrick's circling prayer by someone called Andy Moss.  It is in Church Hymnary 4 and the tune is called 'Circle me Lord'...

Jesus before me, Jesus beside me,

Jesus behind me, Jesus surround me.

Circle me Lord, circle me Lord

All of my days, circle me Lord

Jesus above me, Jesus below me,

Jesus within me, Jesus enfold me

Circle me Lord, circle me Lord

All of my days, circle me Lord

Jesus for our time, Jesus for all time

Jesus eternal, Jesus immortal

Circle me Lord, circle me Lord

All of my days, circle me Lord

The tune is gentle and haunting, and the four part harmony was lovely. 

Many readers of this blog are having a tough time just now - cyber (and ordinary) bullying, red tape, health concerns, employment worries, financial struggles to name just a few.  Many, but by no means all, readers have a lived and living faith.  Whoever you are, however life is for you, this prayer is for YOU.  If, for whatever reason, the name of Jesus doesn't work for you, how about substituting 'love' and /or 'light'?  Whoever you are, however *expletive deleted* life is just now, then my prayer is that love and light (origin of both in God) may surround you today, and every day.

Take care. (((cyber hug)))

Life is busy just at the moment.  Not the frenetic physical busyness of racing hither, thither and yon, which I guess I have probably had to say 'farewell' to (although my idea of not racing around ht&y is maybe different from other people's), but busy with stuff that takes a fair amount of headroom, intellectual, emotional and spiritual energy (and how much my idea of a lot ie&s compares with anyone else's I have no idea).

Lots of ministerial privilege stuff - being allowed close to people for whom life is hard.

Lots of ministerial tricky stuff - balancing the diverse pastoral and spiritual needs of a wonderfully diverse congregation.

Lots of good studenty stuff - looks like we have probably gained three new students, and a few others have at least tried us out.

Lots of administrative/organisational stuff - the perennial need to try to work more effectively and creatively when the people who've worked hard need to take a break.

A little bit of wider BUS stuff - mentoring not one but two new PAMs both of whom are girlies!  Not meant to say girlies, it offends the sterner feminists, but tyg.  If I'm happy to be known as a 'girlie rev' then surely that's my choice?

Finding that I still tire quickly is frustrating.  Having to say 'no' when I'd love to say 'yes' can be disappointing.  Handling ope (other people's expectations) can be challenging.  Seeking the way forward, that allows me to fulfil my calling and to play my part in the story of God's Kingdom in this place is exciting, if demanding.

So, lots going on, but not much that is suitable for public sharing.  To every time there is a season, and the season for now is a lot of non-bloggable pastoral stuff.  Which means I will have to put a heap of energy into working out how WE manage that to the best of our ability, rtaher than running myself ragged.

This email arrived this morning:

Been a bit of an odd week - lots to do but nothing of note to report back on.

This morning I saw the physio for the second appointment to treat my De Quervains tenosynovitis... I kind of like the incredibly long name which translates as 'inflamed sheath around the tendon that stops it moving properly'.  Suffice to say, a week of being splinted has made no difference at all, so this morning it was on to therapeutic ultrasound - two minutes of said process which is meant to aggravate the injury enough to make the body heal it up, or some such similar thing!  Anyway, I remain mostly 'armless' for the foreseeable future.

By contrast, I spent yesterday afternoon doing one of the most privileged things a minister can do - sitting at the bedside of someone who is very ill and nearing the end of life, so in a hospice.  Reading well-loved psalms and hymns, holding his hand, signing him with the cross and then praying with/for him... no other walk of life offers such privilege.  Pastoral care takes many forms, but just sitting in the silence and sharing the waiting seems both to acknowledge our powerlessness and our faithful hope beyond this life.

Today I am intending to do some reading ahead of my next preaching series.  This has the advantage of not needing functional hands, beyond turning over the pages!

Today the PAYG reading was the start of the very short book of the prophet Haggai:

In the second year of King Darius, on the first day of the sixth month, the word of the LORD came through the prophet Haggai to Zerubbabel son of Shealtiel, governor of Judah, and to Joshua son of Jozadak,the high priest:

This is what the LORD Almighty says: “These people say, ‘The time has not yet come to rebuild the LORD’s house.’”

Then the word of the LORD came through the prophet Haggai: “Is it a time for you yourselves to be living in your paneled houses, while this house remains a ruin?”

Now this is what the LORD Almighty says: “Give careful thought to your ways.You have planted much, but harvested little. You eat, but never have enough. You drink, but never have your fill. You put on clothes, but are not warm. You earn wages, only to put them in a purse with holes in it.”

This is what the LORD Almighty says: “Give careful thought to your ways.Go up into the mountains and bring down timber and build my house, so that I may take pleasure in it and be honored,” says the LORD.“You expected much, but see, it turned out to be little. What you brought home, I blew away. Why?” declares the LORD Almighty. “Because of my house, which remains a ruin, while each of you is busy with your own house.

Haggai 1: 1 - 9 NIV

Usually, and legitimately, these words are understood as relating to the literal, physical 'house of God', i.e. the Temple.  The people Haggai addresses have been so busy feathering their own nests that they have allowed the Temple to fall into disrepair - the reference to panelled houses, beloved of the minor prophets, carries with it a sense of opulence.  For middle class Christians, who expend most of their resources and buying and furnishing lovely homes, the simple reading may well hold true, especially if the premises in which they meet for worship are in a sorry state of repair, but I don't think that is the only legitimate way to read the text.  The reality is that any UK citizen, no matter what their status or income, is in the top 10% of the world's most wealthy - we all effectively have panelled houses - so the simple reading refers to everyone AND there must be other ways of reading.

What if we allow the fact that Hebrew like English uses the word 'house' in two distinct ways - (i) as a dwelling place, a building (ii) as a family or line (e.g. the House of David).  What if instead of thinking bricks and mortar, we think relationships?  What if we then ask ourselves where our energy goes - if indeed we give any energy at all?  Are we so busy garnering material comforts that we fail to build strong relationships? Are we so overwhelmed with work that we neglect those closest to us?  Has technology become our master rather than our servant?

I find myself pausing to think in two directions.

Firstly, how much energy do I devote to 'building the house' of which I am, by biology, a part?  By this I definitely do not mean reproduction - too late for me now anyway - but quality relationships that will survive the storms of life? I suspect my family is no better and no worse than average, with its own idiosyncrasies and squabbles, but my challenge is to think how I can better contribute to it for the good.

Secondly, how much energy do I devote to 'building the body of Christ' a 'temple of living stones'?  What do I set out to achieve in my preaching?  How deep are the relationships I have with my folk? Are my pastoral endeavours adequate or even rightly directed?  How do I model the kind of inter-dependence that allows a strong 'house' to be built without it becoming exclusive or clique-ish?  What is the right balance of spiritual and practical, administrative and devotional? I don't think there are any easy answers, but I do think the questions are important.

So, I guess I need to get away to the metaphorical forest to cut some metaphorical trees and drag them back to be used in panelling a metaphorical house.  Anyone lend me a metaphorical axe?!