Over the last year, I have learned what it means to be a 'statistic'... I am the 'one in three' of the UK population, the 'one in eight' (reduced from 'one in nine' at the time) of UK women, the 'one in ten' at the breast clinic, the 'one in five' who is under fifty, blah de blah de blah.  And I am me!  Yesterday a friend emailed to say that she was one of the 'nine in ten' at the breast clinic (hurrah, hurrah, hurrah, no one cheers more than those 'in' these perverse clubs when others don't have to join us) but she was keenly aware that as she rejoiced someone else would be grieving.  It's a complex old world where joy and sorrow, hope and fear, life and death, this and that, are always intertwined.

Another friend sent me this link which is about financial support for people living with disability or chronic conditions; you make like to take up the challenge of sending the link to your conservative MP, if appropriate.  It is elegantly and sensitively written.  I am under no illusions that the government of the UK (and the devolved bits for 3 of 4 countries) have a very hard task balancing the books and working out where to target the money, but it is good to be reminded that behind every statistic there is a person...

I am the one in ten
A number on a list
I am the one in ten
Even though I don`t exist
Nobody Knows me
But I`m always there
A statistical reminder
Of a world that doesn`t care

My arms enfold the dole queue
Malnutrition dulls my hair
My eyes are black and lifeless
With an underprivileged stare
I`m the beggar on the corner
Will no-one spare a dime?
I`m the child that never learns to read
`Cause no-one spared the time

I am the one in ten .... etc

I`m the murderer and the victim
The licence with the gun
I`m a sad and bruised old lady
In an ally in a slum
I`m a middle aged businessman
With chronic heart disease
I`m another teenaged suicide
In a street that has no trees

I am the one in ten .... etc

I`m a starving third world mother
A refugee without a home
I`m a house wife hooked on Valium
I`m a Pensioner alone
I`m a cancer ridden spectre
Discovering the earth
I`m another hungry baby
I`m an accident of birth.

I am the one in ten .... etc

After two weeks steeping ourselves in a bit of Matthew's gospel - parables from chapters 18 and 13 - we are now jumping gospel to Luke and picking up three stories about 'people' from Luke 15 and 16.  Although we are skipping the linking text, it seems to me fairly clear that Luke has a specific emphasis in mind in ordering and grouping the material as he does.

If anyone is looking for a bit of homework ahead of Sunday, then maybe they'd like to cast an eye over the Nazareth manifesto (Luke 4) and/or the Lukan (rather than Matthean) version of the beattitudes and solemnitudes (Luke 6).  These serve well as bits of 'scene setting' for what the gospel does, the emphasis the early readers/hearers needed... all of which leads me to speculate what church(es) in Jerusalem for whom Luke-Acts was written might have been like and what challenges they faced (as one of my commentaries notes, Acts 2 and 4 give hints about wealth and attitudes towards it that the writer may have felt a need to address).

Three different and challenging parables to play with - a fun week in prospect!

Arising from a flip comment I made to someone yesterday, and maybe Dave Walker or ASBO Jesus have already done this...

If you had a remote control for your minister/vicar/rabbi/holy-person, what functions would it have?

If you had a remote control for your congregation, what functions would it have?

Obvious ones seems to be:

• fast forward through boring sermon
• mute button for people who drone on and on in open prayer times
• 'gentle shake' function for those who snooze during the sermon
• 'self-collecting' function for used communion cups (Baptist/URC model)
• volume control for singing
• 'make encouraging noises/smile' function for audience congregation

Others?

... I happened upon this yesterday which has to be the most cringingly awful parody of worship ever.  I was waiting for the spoof to be delcared, waiting for the punchline, but no, it seems it is actually someone's idea of worship.  What can I say?  'Sorry God' seems to be the only response possible.  (So why am I posting it then?  Maybe as a kind of reminder to self and others of our potential for self delusion)

News today from one of our students about a team of Thornton's employees who are cycling south John O'Groats to Lands End taking in 100 of the company's stores en route - including the one round the corner from church where she works - to raise money for NSPCC.  I for one hope to be there to cheer them on.  Their route - by no means the shortest option - is 1200 miles.

Starting at the other end of the country, two of my Godsons (apologies to those Bappy ministers who have problems with such roles!) along with a friend of theirs are cycling an 1100 miles route to raise money for Teenage Cancer Trust to honour the memories of two of their friends.  Next Sunday evening I hope to catch up with them in Kilmarock - they are choosing to avoid/evade my stamping ground!

There is a nice little tenuous connection - my Godsons live very near to Alfreton where Thorntons is based and one of them spent a summer holiday working in the factory.

In amongst all the sad and bad news, it's good to have some that is good, and to remember that there are almost certainly more people doing good in the world than bad.

All power to their legs - just glad I'm not sitting on a bike for that long!