Today's PAYG centred on Matthew 12: 15-21, with its links to Isaiah 42.  As has become my practice recently, after listening I looked up the passage in the NRSV (which they use) with Esword (a free Bible software programme for which you can purchase additional translations, such as NRSV, at very reasonable prices).  The way I have it set up, Matthew Henry's commentary appears to the right of the text, and it is always intriguing to read what he wrote so long ago.

Here's what he said on this passage (emphasis mine)...

The Pharisees took counsel to find some accusation, that Jesus might be condemned to death. Aware of their design, as his time was not come, he retired from that place. Face does not more exactly answer to face in water, than the character of Christ drawn by the prophet, to his temper and conduct as described by the evangelists. Let us with cheerful confidence commit our souls to so kind and faithful a Friend. Far from breaking, he will strengthen the bruised reed; far from quenching the smoking flax, or wick nearly out, he will rather blow it up into a flame. Let us lay aside contentious and angry debates; let us receive one another as Christ receives us. And while encouraged by the gracious kindness of our Lord, we should pray that his Spirit may rest upon us, and make us able to copy his example.

When the church is so full of angry and contentionus debates over what most would agree are 'secondary' issues, it seems Matthew Henry has a 'word in season.'

If, instead of arguing over then gender or sexuality of clergy, we were doing what Jesus did I can't help feeling the church would be in better health.  Of course opinions will vary, and people will go on using the Bible to 'proof text' their views, but a bit of 'servant' gentleness and Christlike welcome seems a good paln to me.

Beau lines are white, sometimes ridged, lines that run horizontally across finger/toe nails that have suffered damage within the nail bed, for example due to chemotherapy.  As my nails recover and return to their old incredibly fast growth rate, I notice the Beau lines moving higher and the 'through the way' splits between layers at the finger tip end of nail.  I fear that once the lines near the top my nails may break off as the tranverse and laminar splits experience too much stress.  So it's back to nail varnish... but clear this time as it's just acting as glue.

My nails are a sight to behold!  The FEC induced discolouration means the tops are like smokers nails whilst the Docetaxel damage means the Beau lines coincide with slight flakiness.  Within a couple of months my finger nails will probably be back to normal but for my big toes, with large nails and slower growth, it could be a year.

I like the irony that these lines, named after the scientist who first observed/studied them, have a name that means beautiful.

One of the inevitable, if unjustified, aspects of being a she-preacher is that people feel free to comment on your appearance.  I don't mean the compliments on a well-chosen outfit, I mean the coments that your skirt is too short, your heels too high, your hair style inappropriate (too long/short/coloured/uncoloured/permed/unpermed), your makeup too heavy/non-existent etc. etc.

Since I 'revealed' my uber-short hair it has provoked mixed reactions.  Most people who know me have been very positive, not in a patronising way, but sharing my pleasure in having hair again.  A few people in hospital waiting rooms have been totally freaked, making in depth studies of the window, floor or ceiling - anything rather than look my way.  Most people who work in cafes have the professionalism not even to blink... even when I'm not in the 'trendy West End'.

Yesterday within half an hour I experienced two almost opposite reactions...

Person A "haven't you got a wig....?"

Person B "can I touch it.... wow, it's so soft and fine"

I am sure Person A was well intentioned - and, as there is a tiny risk they will read this, note that I quote it not as criticism but as observation.

I guess all of us sometimes say things that catch people the 'wrong way.'

I continue to revel in my new hair but recognise that some people it can press their buttons, awaken their fears, disturb their ghosts.  Actions can speak every bit as loudly as words.  Overall, though, I feel I've made the right choice for me...

On Friday I will be back at the cancer hospital where it is safe to have hair or not, scarves or not, and no one really bothers.  It's a place where people delight in other people's positives, a place where I have learned a lot for the good.

This morning I've been reading through my census form and pondering suitable answers.

Kind of amusing that Baptists get listed along with Jedi as 'other, please specify below'

Kind of bewildering answering 'how is your general health' ("very good") and 'do you suffer from any long term condition or disease?' (er, yes)

Kind of baffling answering 'what do you do in your job'...

Kind of brought out the worst in me being asked 'what is your nationality'... tempted to put 'other, citizen of heaven' but didn't.

Kind of curious to know how the Scotland questions compare with England (&?) Wales or Northern Ireland.

Ah well, this is the fifth census in which I've been recorded, at the fifth different address... so I'm sure I just suceed in messing up the statistics.

So, I climbed Mt Chemo, endured the bog of infection, made my way through the forest of surgery and ahead of my lies the river of radiation.  And now, for a couple of weeks, radiotherapy planning not withstanding, I am in a beautiful meadow... I feel fit and reasonably strong (learning to live with discomfort and told it will, eventually pass), my hair grows gently and steadily, and I am almost free to do my own thing for a little while.  It is lovely to have this breathing space, to do some things that are 'just for pleasure' before the final part of this trek has to begin.

Yesterday was a trip to Largs in the sunshine and this evening I join our C of S minister friends to farewell one of them.  A little 'gallivanting' in prospect before the nuking begins!