Events in Japan are tragic, let's make no mistake about that.  The uncontrolled release of radiation from their nuclear plant is worrying, causing members of the public to have an unchosen risk of short and long term effects of the radiation they receive.  But a bit of perspective please... the NHS is due to give me 50Gy (i.e. 5000 cGy or 50,000mGy) split into 25 'fractions' in a therapeutic role.  Carefully targetted at a small part of my body and 'risk balanced' that it is less likely (or no more likely) to cause than cure cancer... and as the leaflet so casually puts it (paraphrased)... even if it does it won't be for many years anyway.  The bottom line is this: 50Gy is a lot.

There is a massive difference between me choosing to accept the risks posed by my treatment than some innocent Japanese person receiving a whole body dose even at a substantially lower level.  But there is also a lot of sensationalist and ill-conveived reporting going on.

Most people in the UK happily accept X-rays and CT scans, quietly building up their dose uptake (often without knowing it) and remain blissfully ignorant of any link between the diagnostic or therapeutic uses of radiation and the nuclear industry.  Most people who receive radiotherapy will never know how big a dose they get - I know only because I asked.  Sometimes I suspect ignorance is bliss and a little knowledge very dangerous.

After consideration, I have opted not to include any numerical comparative stuff here lest it be misquoted or misappropriated.  Suffice to say that radiotherapy doses, whatever the practitioners say, are big.  They are also carefully targetted and controlled.  I am certainly not concerned - beyond a professional curiosity - about my upcoming treatment, the benefit of which outweighs the risks.  Thus far, the doses to which people in Japan have been exposed seem, thankfully, to substantially lower, albeit that they are whole body and unchosen.

Right now it is clearly evident a little knowledge is misleading and even dangerous... I am glad that as a former nuclear safety assessor I at least understand what is being said and know where to find out accurate information.

(btw UK reactors are deisgned to withstand earthquakes, and tsunamis are considered in developing the safety cases)

Yesterday the invitation to the BUGB Women in Ministry day arrived, and it's title is "Made in God's Image."  Nuking side-effects permitting, I am intending to attend the day when it takes place in May, and am looking forward to catching up with colleagues and friends 'south of the border' and in what is, arguably, a slightly more enlightened union. :-)

At various times I have pondered what it means to be made in God's image, beyond gender, beyond race, beyond status, and yet, mysteriously and particularly, as we are.  I am very fond of the line from the Brian Wren hymn that says God's 'living likeness still we bear, though marred, dishonoured, disobeyed.'

Lots of work has been done - and rightly - to affirm that people with physical or developmental disabilities bear God's image.  Lots of work has been done - and rightly - to affirm that people with physical or mental illness or injury bear God's image.  Some work has been done - and rightly - to affirm that older people whose bodies and minds may be worn or frail bear God's image.

I think I am fortunate that I never really equated my worth with my physical appearance, but seeing the title of the day did give me pause for thought.  Each morning as I look in the mirror I see the scars from my surgery.  If it is cold or damp my scars ache.  When I reach out my 'affected' arm the muscles 'tug' a little.  Even now as my hair regrows, eyelashes and eyebrows begin to reappear, they are no longer the 'givens' they once were.  I swallow the pills that will minimise the risk of recurrence but can no longer simply assume an 'average' life expectancy...  This body, now scarred, now sore, now vulnerable, now obviously damaged... this body bears the image of God.

For a long time I was fascinated by the idea of Jesus' post resurrection hands - scarred hands, hands riven with holes, hands that reach out to touch and heal 'this side' of Calvary.  If it is good enough for God to have scars, aches, wounds, damage, then how much more so we, God's creatures?

I am made in the image and likeness of God - scars 'n' all.  And so are you.

(This photo is about 2 weeks old - I have more hair now!)

Last night we used the scripture reading set by CTBI as part of their Lent 2011 series, which was Psalm 32.  It is a well-loved and lovely psalm, very honest about the writer's experiences and need for reconciliation with God.  Just that verse 6 is a tad unfortunate just at the moment...

"Therefore let all who are faithful offer prayer to you; at a time of distress, the rush of mighty waters will not reach them."

I know this is the language of metaphor, and I am certainly not blaming anyone for using this set passage to guide our thoughts, just that we can be pretty confident that among those swept away in recent events, literally or metaphorically, are faithful people of prayer.

Of course, taking a verse from here or there is a dangerous practice, and the psalm continues to speak of God as a 'hiding place', a refuge not from but within the storm.

As the news continues to unfold, and as events are New Zealand, let alone the so-called 'third world' are almost forgotten inthe wake of those in Japan, we need to beware glib answers to complex questions as we continue to pray for those directly affected.

Lord, have mercy,

Chirst have mercy,

Lord have mercy

Over the last week or so I have begun to do certain things for the first time since my surgery; things I used to take for granted, and ay do again; things that are usually must a chore but brought a sense of achievement...

Just over a week ago I went a on a train on my own to town - this brought with it that strange blend of excitement and fear that a child has the first time they are allowed to go to town alone, in my case aged eleven on a bus.  The fear of being knocked and hurt, the concerns about the weight of shop doors (hurrah for automatic ones!) and the realisation that self-service restaurants are still 'off limits' when I'm alone as I can't (yet) carry the trays.  But it was good to be out on my own again - it's been a long time.

Last week I drove for the first time, after someone very kindly recharged the battery on my car.  I find car travel very uncomfortable at the moment, even if I am riding in a big flash car with comfy seats, so my little Saxo is not exactly super comfy.  Surprisingly the only bit that caused me 'bother' was reverse parking as twisting round to look over my left shoulder whilst steering pulled at the (pirate sized) scar on my back.

On Saturday I dusted my house and even cleaned my 'little' shower-room.  I hate housework but it was a real pleasure to be able to do these tasks again.  Still at least a couple of months before I'm allowed to hoover, sweep or mop, so I'm very grateful to my 'Mrs Mop'.

Yesterday I made it to church twice.  This isn't a measure of physical strength or flexibility, rather it is about energy levels and stamina.  To have enough brain power to concentrate through two acts of worship was great; to be able to hold conversations and not wilt totally was a bonus.

Funny how the little things can be the ones that end up mattering.

Still a long way to go to restored fitness - and this with a detour via the River of Radiation still to be crossed - but it is good to record the little firsts that mark my recovery.

This may seem like a no brainer... of course wisdom is to be desired, the Bible tells us so doesn't it?  There are whole hymns to wisdom in Proverbs, it's obvious.

Is it?

Genesis 2:6 NRSV

So when the woman saw that the tree was good for food, and that it was a delight to the eyes, and that the tree was to be desired to make one wise, she took of its fruit and ate; and she also gave some to her husband, who was with her, and he ate.

I'd never spotted that the text said 'wise' until I heard it read today, and wondered if it was a bit of GNB 'dumbing' so I checked it in other translations and in an interlinear Hebrew.  Sure enough the word was 'wise.'

I guess the significance is that whilst wisdom is desirable, good, Godly, it is not to be snatched for and cannot be attained simply or even effortlessly... there is a difference between knowledge (what the serpent said) and wisdom (what the woman aspired to).  Perhaps the fault was not the desire for wisdom, to be grown-up, to be able to make value judgements but the assumption that all that was needed was knowledge.

Perhaps there is a bit of similarity with Jesus' temptations to quick fixes - and indeed our own.  Wisdom is to be desired, but knowledge does not always lead us to be wise.

Anyone got any thoughts?