I type this at a point when I should have been an hour away from going for my final checks ahead of starting radiotherapy tomorrow.  An hour ago I had a phone call to say that due to an administrative glitch the necessary papers had not not been signed and the whole thing will be shifted 'downstream' by a week.

I know in the grand scheme of things it doesn't matter but it is "flipppin' annoying" and I'd cheerfully thump those repsonsible (in love, of course).

So, a bit of tracking downstream to where the stones have been re-laid.

I'm just glad, given it was only two hours notice of the change, that I live locally and had not already set out to get to the hospital.

Sorry, this is a bit of a rant!  I ought to be glad this is the first thing that's gone awry, and I am really, it's just that when you can see the finish line it's frustrating to have it moved.

... can you fit into one living room?  Evidently the answer yesterday was 19, as our 'First Monday' group squeezed into my living room for a presentation and discussion on Mennonite theology.

The speaker is one of the Gatherers who retains her Canadian Mennonite identity.  Given the debated and debateable anabaptist influence on the original Baptists (Smyth and Helwys went to Amsterdam and had contact with anabaptist fellowships) it was interesting to hear about one strand of anabaptists in a Western, and more speicfically North American, context.

There was, as I'd expcected, much in common, from believer Baptism to separation of the church and state.  The biggest difference, I think, is that for Mennonites active persecution continued into the twentieth century, which means that this is a tradition living out that legacy - for Baptists, at least in the West, such experiences are 'old history' and so don't actively shape our daily lives.

I was struck by the fact that there are what might be termed 'cultural Mennonites' - those whose forebears were active in faith but who, whilst so labelling themselves, no longer attend church or live specifically in accord with Mennonite teaching.  At the same time there are what might be termed 'incomers' - people with no Mennonite background who are seekers after Christ.  The long term impact of this for Mennonites will be interestng to observe - and I can't help wondering how open they might be to learning from the experiences of other Reformation (Protestant or Radical) traditions who have already travelled this path.

I was fascinated by the Mennonite canon-within-a-canon for scripture: first the sermon on the mount, then the gospels, then the rest of the New Testament, then the Old Testament.  If I had the time it would be interesting to compare and contrast this with such Baptist oddities as the scriptures central to the Six Principle Baptists and dear old (?!) Spuregeon on the downgrade, or even, for that matter the ancient views of Marcionism.  I wonder, for all our claims, what is really the canon-within-a-canon that Baptists are inclined to use?

A very interesting and thought provoking evening.

To my shame, I have only just opened and read the lastest BMS Mission Catalyst which explores some areas that all too often are hushed up, ignored or pronounced upon: questions around human sexuality and what 'good news' looks like.  It doesn't give you any neat answers, rather it leaves you with things to think about.  Three articles on Christians who are LGBT, three on Christians in Marriage/Cohabitation and a couple on Christians and pre-commitment/ceremonial sexual activity.

Where there are two Baptists there will be three opinions, which, for me, is part of the delight of who we are.  We may not agree with everything that's said but this is a gracious attempt to handle some thorny topics well.  The issue can be read online (follow the link above and scroll down to the issue labelled 'Sexuality') and every BUGB/BUS/BUW church ought to have copies.

I hope the copy I've just read can find its way to our noticeboard, and will be read openly and honestly.  Above all I hope that we will learn to see everyone as God does and not assume that we have the right to judge anyone.

If I can be a bit picky, I think something on singleness and celibacy (and I don't mean a list of thou shalt nots) might have been helpful too - once again we are the forgotten third of the church - but it's easy to criticise what is basically very good.

Thank you BMS.

... who gets her."  So said one of my ninety somethings yesterday about the student who was doing her Board of Ministry 'assessed preach' with us yesterday.  She was very brave having me plus a retired Baptist minister in the congregation (our two regular retireds were both away) as well as her known about (though anonymous) assessor and, as it transpired, another member of the BoM who was visiting family.

The service was carefully and skillfully constructed, the sermon thoughtful, the intercessions inspired and the delivery warm and encouraging.  I had heard this woman preach via our 'podcast' back in January and been impressed; in the flesh she was even better.

Any of us who've done BoM/Min Rec assessed preaches, college assessed preaches or Preaches With a View/Sole Nominee know how nerve wracking these experiences are.  That she succeeded in leading us in worship, that she was still smiling at the end, that she's coming back next week... these are indicators of her calling.

God bless you F.

PS Why are the assessors almost always men in grey suits?!

This week sees the start of the "nuking" or "zapping" or any other euphemism for radiotherapy.  It is a slightly odd place to be, waiting on my metaphorical riverbank to begin picking my way across the stepping stones to (hopefully) freedom.

It is slightly odd because, apart from a bit of discomfort in my arm/shoulder/back I feel totally well and healthy, ready for anything, champing at the bit to be back at work.  It is lovely listening to other preachers, but I want to be back doing it!  My church has been well cared for over these weeks of my "general uselessness" as I termed it pre-surgery, and I am very grateful to those who have filled the pulpit - but I so want "my" role back now please!

This morning I sang with the choir - the first time singing alto (being a mezzo I can, theoretically sing either that or soprano) and it was great fun.  This completed my exploration of different seating positions, gaining alternative views of church.  I will probably sing with the choir again before Easter (next week I have house guests so it would wrong to), which will be good.

As I wait to cross the river, as I've had a couple of weeks of enjoyment doing things that are fun rather than necessary, I am very conscious of being upheld these past months by the prayers, love and good wishes of many, many people.  This last little bit doesn't hold fear for me, though it may prove both tiring and irksome before it is done.  It is just a case of one step at a time to reach the far bank of the river.

A few years back I came across an Iona song that speaks into tough situations, and which I found myself recalling as I pondered the stepping stones that take me over my river.  The truth is I step into a brighter tomorrow, other people are entering, or remain within, their own times of trial, fear, doubt, anxiety or other 'darkness'.  This is for them:

1  Unsure, when what was bright turns dark
    and life, it seems, has lost its way,
    we question what we once believed
    and fear that doubt has come to stay.
    We sense the worm that gnaws within
    has withered willpower, weakened bones,
    and wonder whether all that's left
    is stumbling blocks or stepping stones.

2  Where minds and bodies reel with pain
    which nervous smiles can never mask,
    and hope is forced to face despair
    and all the things it dare not ask;
    aware of weakness, guilt or shame,
    the will gives out, the spirit groans,
    and clutching at each straw we find
    more stumbling blocks than stepping stones.

3  Where family life has lost its bliss
    and silences endorse mistrust,
    or anger boils and tempers flare
    as love comes under threat from lust;
    where people cannot take the strain
    of worklessness and endless loans,
    what pattern will the future weave -
    just stumbling blocks, no stepping stones?

4  Where hearts that once held love are bare
    and faith, in shreds, compounds the mess;
    where hymns and prayers no longer speak
    and former friends no longer bless;
    and when the church where some belonged
    no more their loyalty enthrones,
    the plea is made, 'If you are there,
    turn stumbling blocks to stepping stones!'

5  Ah, God, you, with the Maker's eye,
    can tell if all that's feared is real,
    and see if life is more than what
    we suffer, dread, despise and feel.
    If some by faith no longer stand,
    nor hear the truth your voice intones,
    stretch out your hand to help your folk
    from stumbling block to stepping stones.

John L Bell and Graham Maule © 1989 WGRG, Iona Community

May God grant you safe passage across your own river.