Events in Cumbria this week have given a lot of people pause for thought.  Behind the headlines, the speculations, the accusations and the anger are a lot of grieving people, people who need love and support and space.  For the rest of us there is a reminder both of the fragility of life and the fragility of what is generally termed sanity... but for the grace of God any one of us could be at either end of a lethal weapon, pushed beyond what we can bear, fearing for our lives...

Twice, in as many days, I have travelled through Cumbria by train, enjoying the rolling hills beneath azure blue skies, noting the tiny white dots of sheep and the wiggly lines of dry-stone walls.  Despite the tragedy, it is still a beautiful area in which people live quiet lives in reasonable harmony one with another.

As I sat on a train today, mulling over these events and my time away, I found myself recalling a moment a couple of years back when I was doing some hopsital visiting in Leicester.  Two older men were nearing the end of their lives, and I had spent some time with each offering, as best I could, support and comfort to the families.  Walking back through the long corridors, I passed a young woman clutching a scan photograph in one hand as she talked excitedly about the new life growing inside her.  Joy and sorrow, hope and fear, life and death, always cheek by jowl.  Perspective or somesuch, not a ying-yang balance as if one cancels out the other, because it doesn't, just a reality that extremes and in betweens will always co-exist.

Whenever I visit someone who is sick - especially if the prognosis is poor - and whenever I conduct a funeral I am reminded of my own vulnerability and mortality.  Whenever I see excited children wishing a train journey over so the adventure can begin I am reminded both of life and vitality (is that tautology? probably) and of the cavalier way we treat life (how many times were all of us told off for wishing our lives away when we were younger?).  For the person who wants the day over with, there is always someone who'd love just a few moments more.  I chatted to a few folk on the trains I travelled on, some were on their way back to resume an extended holiday after attending a funeral, others were visiting family, others were returning from work; conversations I overheard ranged from the trivial to the profound... life in all its fullness was, I suspect, on the 08:56 ex-Northampton and the 11:20 ex-Birmingham.

It's corny in extremis to say 'life is a gift, that's what it's called the present' but actually all we do have is 'now' and it does me no harm to reflect on that.

David Kerrigan of BMS here.  I think he's slightly rephrased what he said in Plymouth.. or maybe re rephrased what he'd already written when he said it... a useful commnet on, and reminder of, Baptistness I think.

One of my favourite buildings - Northampton Guildhall.  Photo from Britannica site - credit just says G-man.

As children we called it Trumpton town hall, and if you recall the programme you will appreciate why.

I will almost certainly pass by tomorrow afternoon.

So, two evenings, two missionary events for two major mission organisations, and in total only around fifity people present.  That is puzzling.

Monday's was pretty small-scale, it was our link missionary coming to talk to the four churches with whom he is linked.  Two dozen (or so) people wasn't massive, but sat together in our place there was a feeling of a reasonable 'audience.'  Last night's was part of a big national tour with two international speakers and yet it, too, attracted only around two dozen people (more in total present because of the helpers and staff).

I think the questions that arise for me are...

• why is it so few people go along to these events?
• how successful are they in generating support - and more specifically financial support?

Is it that people now have such easy access to information via the Internet, and even by ordinary news media, that what the mission organisations have to say is not really news?  Is it that people feel they've heard it all before, because actually most of the time nothing much changes?  I can recall the genuine excitement years back when the cure for leprosy was found, but now we still hear of stigma, rejection, prejudice and new cases in the poorest areas... do people feel that this is 'old news'?

Most of the people who go along to missionary events are those who already support the organisations; I suspect that the retiring offerings tend to be the same people digging just a little deeper into the same pockets to support the causes they already care about.  Thinking of those I knew who were there the last couple of nights from my church, they included a former TLM nurse and a former BMS missionary... we go because this is part of our story too.

So I'm puzzled.  Puzzled as to what we really see as the purpose of the missionary visit/event, puzzled as to how we persuade people to come along who aren't already committed, puzzled as to what might be more effective in terms of education and fundraising.

TLMs canapes were very posh and very tasty, whilst our home-baking was simply scrummy; both were abundant... I've been well fed the last couple of evenings even if I'm still a tad puzzled.

I have just completed an online questionaire that was collecting, amongst other things, religious affiliation.  The options for Christianity were:

• Christian: Church of Scotland
• Christian: Roman Catholic
• Christian: other please specify

I think what struck me was that if, for example, you were Muslim you weren't required/desired to indicate whether Sunni or Shia or if you were Jewish there was no need to state orthodox, liberal or reformed.  So I think I may have to stop being a Baptist and be an 'other please specify' instead.  All of which vaguely reminds me of a tale I heard of church parade of National Servicemen (I think) which ran something like this: 'Catholics to the right, Anglicans to the left, Methodists and other fancy religions stand fast.'