As I strolled round the supermarket, every few minutes a recorded voice would remind me, 'only buy what you need...'

Anyone who really knows me, knows that part of my unique perosnality is that I am hardwired to do as I'm told.  So, 'only buy what you need' means only buy what you need...

For the first few weeks of lockdown I did just that, scurrying round the shop as fast as I could, one bottle of milk, one bottle of juice, one carrot, one pack of veggie sausages...  Buying an Easter egg (it was before Easter, remember!) was a definite 'no no'.  At that time, there were media reports of heavy handed police officers in Northampton (where I grew up) checking people's shopping bags for contraband 'non-essential items'... maye that's where I learned this behaviour!!

Buy what you need can mean, and at it's simplest reading does mean, stick to the basics, and only buy the amount you will use between now and the next permitted shop (in seven days time).

But, as my Mum used to say, and she was right, 'a little of what you fancy does you good.'

One of the things I really have to work hard at is self-care, to recognises that sometimes what I need is not wholemeal bread but chocolate cake, and so on.

Today I treated myself to something that can no way be called 'essential' - as seen in the photo being checked out by Sophie cat, a plastic picnic 'charger' with a cheery nautical scene.  It's not essential or useful, I didn't 'need' it, but I did need the joy it brought me just to buy it, and will bring me as I look at it from time to time.

Some things money can buy, some things it cannot; 'only buy what you need' isn't just about bread and milk either.

A good friend who is a minster told me that I look very frightening wearing a plain black mask, so if my photo scared you, I'm sorry.  Wearing masks is mandatory in some settings at the moment, and strongly encouraged in others, subject to defined exceptions.  The science is unclear, and experts offer conflicting advice about efficacy and safety.  Be all that as it may, I'm a rule follower by nature, and have taken time to check out what I think is the 'least worst' approach to mask use.

So off I trotted to the supermarket, where there was no queue to get in and two jolly men at the door (unmasked) greeted me with cheery smiles.  I smiled back, under my mask, and said 'hello'.

As I made my way round the store and engaged in the inevitable pas-de-deux of socially distanced shopping, I was struck by the phenomena of 'eye smiles'.  We've always known that true smiles reach the eyes, but today it was the only evidence - and ht eonly evidence needed - that people were smiling.

And people were speaking... the odd 'hello' to a stranger (it is Glasgow after all, second only to Liverpool and Manchester for such things!), an 'excuse me,' an 'after you'... even the odd laugh at the crazy dances we executed.

The last few months have seen a lot of stressy shopping, of hoarding and panic buying, of empty shelves and restrictions, of furtive glances and dodgy attempts at homemade PPE.  That hasn't all gone away, but today, in this shop, there was chat and banter, laughter and 'eye smiles' - and it felt good. 

This morning, I am sitting in my kitchen after a rare 'social Zoom call' with those friends with whom I have been in regular contact the longest. 

As I do so, I am remembering another Saturday 20th June, eleven years ago, when I sat in my office and wondered what was happening in a church in Glasgow where a Special Church Meeting was going to vote on whether or not to call me as their minister.

I remember the nervous, anxious wait, and I remember the unbridaled joy when the phone came through to say 'yes'.

Eleven years on, what a lot has changed! And what a lot has stayed the same.

As I sit in my kitchen and reflect, I give thanks to the faithful God who called me, and who has stayed with me.

As I look back, I give thanks for those who have called me out when I have been wrong or out of line.

As I look back, I am give thanks for wonderful opportunities I have had, which I'd never have imagined possible.

And as I look forward, I commend myself and all the Gatherers to God's safe-keeping.

I said 'no' to something today. 

It was something I could have done, and could have done well. 

It was something people I respect had suggested I might be willing to undertake.

It was something that would have been demanding and possibly costly.

It was something that would have meant laying down something else that I wasn't willing to identify or lay down.

In the end, though, it was something that would have needed capacity - physical, emotional, intellectual, spiritual - I just don't have at the momemt.

So I said 'no'.

And I feel at peace about that.

Learning slowly

Three months ago today, I conducted one of the last weddings in Scotland before lockdown meant they had to stop.  It was a gloriously sunny afternoon, and an idyllic spot. So today, M&J have been married for quarter of a year!  I contacted them, and they told me how excited they at the prospect of 'doing it all again' eventually when large indoor gatherings are permitted.

In some ways, this wedding marks the start of my lockdown experience, and, as we enter Phase 2 of its easing, I find myself looking back over these weeks that have flown past - from the vernal equinox to the summer solstice.  Somehow, it feels good that these dates rather than 'Easter' or 'Pentecost' have become the markers on this journey.  A reminder that our global identity goes beyond all societal and religious structures, and is more 'earthy'.

Most, though not all, days since lockdown began I have walked around my bit of Glasgow and taken hundreds of photos on my smartphone.  I have spent countless hours in Zoom meetings, and learned all sorts about software and hardware that I never wanted to know! I have been online in national prayer casts and webinars, as well as local and regional acts of worship or CMD sessions. I have been awed by the perseverence of others trying to cajole technological devices to connect to online worship.  I have been delighted to see our younger people compose new music for worship or make films and PowerPoints. Our Pastoral Care team have excelled in keeping contact with every household, and our Trustees and Admin teams have done stirling work to keep everything together and moving in the right direction.

Overall, then, lots of wonderful blessings amidst the strangeness of it all.

Summer for us is, traditionally, a gentler pace, and I am excited with what we've come up with this year.  For sure, it's already had a bit fo a re-jig, that's just life, but I know it'll be good, and I am looking foward to how it unfolds.

I wonder what the next quarter of a year will bring?