I'm having a lovely Easter - it's not over yet - and a really happy first day back at work.

The rain held off for the open air service in the Botanic Gardens which was attended by lots of people from at least six different congregations - and at least three dogs as well!

Then it was all hands on deck to set up for our own service at 11 a.m., with just enough time for a tasty apple hot cross bun (yummy!) and a cuppa along the way.

The church was packed, with visitors as well as regulars and really happy atmosphere as we shared in an act of all age worship with three creative zones and a central reflective zone, a child-friendly communion and some thoughts on the importance of retelling the the stories that carry the memory of the life of Jesus.

Mr Bump, you ask, what is that all about?  I had taken in a selection of objects that related to Easters past, including a Mr Bump mug that had been given to me in the 1970s complete, back then, with a small Easter egg.  When I asked the children why they thought I'd brought in Mr Bump the answers were amazing... Mr Men being almost egg shaped, Mr Bump being wounded as a reminder that Jesus was wounded (wow... still processing that one, so incredibly profound), Mr Men are smiling and make us happy, Mr Bump (on my mug anyway) has a ladder, which maybe was to climb up to the cross... I LOVE the imagination and intuitive spirituality of children!

It was one of those services where the technology packs up - first the laptop powered down with a flat battery (the power lead having coming loose unobserved) then a microphone battery packed up, then the microphone itself packed up, and then a microphone swap was needed... and none of it mattered, not one jot.

It felt good to be back at 'work'.  I had a blast.  Hopefully other people enjoyed themselves too.  I enjoyed my now traditional post Easter service lunch out and still have an evening service when someone else will guide my thoughts.

Whether we remember any details of the service in a week's time doesn't matter - what we did does: we retold the story, we kept the memory alive and we sought meaning for our continuing lives...

Resurrection joy, new or renewed hope: love is come again like wheat that springeth green.

I need to preface this by saying that one of my greatest pleasures in ministry is "creating" an Easter Sunday experience for others, even though it is lots of work, and even if delegating might be a wise idea... I just kind of want everyone else to have a lovely time and not feel the need to be making it so for others.

So, on the landing outside my flat are two big buckets of flowers.

I have taken lots of craft materials to church, and have a few last minute bits still to purchase.

I have some prototypes and preparations to make during the course of the day.

I have already made a few tweaks to my PowerPoint and may make the odd one to the service detail

This is not "proper" Holy Saturday reflection... or is it?  Is it possible that in the preparing, in the yearning to give the best I can, to help others find meaning and hope is actually very proper indeed?

I will have fun today - I have lovely things to prepare.

I will have fun tomorrow - because there will be good things to share.

That limbo time, between a death and a funeral, when you don't quite know what to do or say or be... I guess in some senses that's what Holy Saturday is about.  Perhaps because my Dad died on the Wednesday after Easter, I remember his death around this time rather than at its true date.  In some sense I re-enter the bizarre blend of routine and restlessness, getting on with it and not knowing what to do... I try hard not to pre-empt what I know tomorrow brings, because actually no-one knows what tomorrow brings.  Like countless ministers and Sunday School leaders, today will be spent on final preps for tomorrow.  For now though, these words...

Holy Saturday:

The

Long

Aching

Empty

Waiting

And

Not

Knowing

If

God's

(seeming?)

Absence

Will

Ever

End...

Being woken up in the (relatively) small hours by the sound of my work mobile phone was guaranteed to set my heart thumping... it turned out to be something easily resolved, of no pastoral and very little practical significance, but it did mean I was up, dressed and out of the house before 5 a.m., which felt a rather strange start to Good Friday.

If the Biblical narrative is anything to go by, the early hours of Good Friday saw people being awoken by people hammering on their doors, demanding action, a trial, an execution... Blearly-eyed, adrenalin-driven repectable people dragged from slumber to act, and act now.  And Jesus, kept up all night, his heart broken, his body weary, his end now self-evident ,dragged from pillar to post and back again, all before anyone gets to Golgotha, and mostly whilst the majority of folk are sleeping.

Good Friday is a strange day, we never quite know how to mark it - in some places Walks of Witness continue, in others Messy Church, in others vigils; in some ecumenical, in others single traditions... and so on.  We centre on the cross, and rightly so, but today I am reminded of those who were dragged from slumber and thrust into a fast-paced, bewildering, unstoppable chain of events that would end in ways they'd never have imagined the night before.

Up-all-night God,

There in the garden

In the courtyard

On the road

At the trials

Hearing the voices

Alert to the ridicule

Seeing the beating...

You are always present with us in our own night-times

Whether we slumber peacefully

Sleep fitfully

Or toss and turn anxiously

You know and understand

How adrenalin affects us

Fight or flight or freeze

Pumped up or pulled down

And you are with us

Today help me be aware

Of those who find themselves

Propelled or compelled

Into situations

Or conversations

Or decisions

That trigger these instincts

Help me to be aware of my own responses,

Of their potential for good or ill.

And, as we look to the cross

As we wonder and worry

As we marvel

As we are disgusted

As we struggle

Stay close in the deep darkness of broad daylight

And give us your peace.

Last night the focus was on Bonhoeffer, and four strands in his thinking: Discipline, Action, Suffering and Death.  These are good words to carry on into today as we focus on

Foot washing

Bread breaking

Wine pouring

Kiss betraying

Curse denying

Not a lot of words today, just a prayer:

Foot-washing God, kneeling in front of me and gently wiping the dust of another year's journey, how tender is your touch

Bread-breaking God, offering me nutrition for my body's ongoing life, symbolising your own death

Wine-pouring God, blessing me for my journey onwards, your love splashing in the cup of my heart

Kiss-betrayed God, meeting my gaze and weeping over my failure to understand

Curse-betrayed God, hearing the course crow of the cock as once more I fail to acknowledge you

On this day of mystery

In the symbols

In the remembering

Meet me afresh, cleanse, forgive, strengthen, delight...

Then lead me into the darkness to wait patiently with you, for you...

Amen.