I know I'm not the only person to post under this heading recently but I thought I might as well join in.

At our lunch club today I was handing out leaflets about our church to those who are not part of it,  One man asked me who these Baptists were, afterall, he asserted, I was Church of England (does Rowan Williams know this?!), and were they Christians?  I assured him we were! 

Apparently Christians have some nice hymns and songs, which he likes, and he thought our 'thing in the pub' sounded a good idea.  He is a curious fellow, one of those you find yourself feeling protective of, with mental health issues and no short term memory.  In recent months I've discovered that he was for a while part of a bowls team, has dabbled with landscape painting and has children who live not too far away.  I wonder whether 'thing in a pub' might be 'right' for him, and how he'd be received by others who come along - but it would be quite exciting if he did come along, even once.  Whether he might think we were Christians then, who knows?!

As the dust settles from this year's conference, and the cheques have been posted off around East Midlands for countersignature and settling of bills, we begin to start work on next year.

Firstly, where to go.  Our long established practice is a low cost centre, with really quite decent rooms, adequate (if unexciting) food, a bar and various seminar rooms.  The down side is sharing with the Mother's Union (every year so far, even if we change the dates!) the Free Church of England and other diverse groupings - a load of Methodists last year, I seem to recall.  Down, not because of who they are - we love them dearly, in so far as we know them - but because sometimes we could do with a place to ourselves.  We are looking at alternatives, recognising that the cost will probably sky rocket and the smaller/poorer churhces may struggle to meet their 'contribution' and/or ministers may choose not to come.  Tricky.

Then who to speak.  We are as disparate a group of ministers as you could wish for, but I think it is fair to say that we are Baptistly tolerant of each others heresies and foibles.  Being Christian and being Baptist does, for these few days anyway, take priority over left/right/high/low/sacrament/ordinance/green book/red book/OHP/guitar/organ/whatever issues.  Praise God!  So who might be suitable to speak is a good challenge.  We are trying to shortlist 'safe enough' and 'fun enough' names at the moment.  'Enough' is important - no one is perfectly safe (least of all JC) but are they going to be safe enough for our people?  We don't need a laugh every two seconds, but we don't want something so heavy it depresses everyone.  We don't come just to have our feathers stroked, but we don't come to be trampled on either.  We have some good names on our shortlist at present, male and female, left, right and centre, academic and popular but - and I suspect this is the key - they are all Baptists and they all know about being a Baptist minister.

For me, the 'where' is less signifiacnt than the 'what and who', for others the converse may be true.  Because those on our shortlist are - generally - well known in Baptist circles, they will be being asked pretty soon if they are free.  My hope and prayer is that this time next year we will be a less anxious planning team!

I begin to understand better how Biblical scholars feel when preachers massacre texts, or make prouncements based on some dodgey English translation.  Last night at Girls' Brigade I was handed another request for a risk assessment by someone who does not know what she's talking about - and who had the audacity to tell me that something causing fairly minor injury was a high risk.  So I'm back on my hobby horse about this whole area (where I am still one of the best qualified people around) and the Completely Ridiculous Assessment Procedures (you work out the acronym, I couldn't possibly comment) in circulation.

So, if you want something sensible, practical and useable by lay people then get the HSE publication 'Five Steps to Risk Assessment' (available online here) you don't need a load of numbers, what you need is a congruent qualitative argument.  Rocket science it isn't, common sense and good practice it is.

I get the odd snipe from school teachers who think they know better than I in this area; in terms of what local authorities do that is undoubtedly true, in terms of risk assessment and safety culture, well, give me a certain 'hazardous industry' most days of most weeks!

...knackered.

That was the verdict of the builder on the ceiling in the manse bathroom.  He is coming back on Friday to take it out and put a new one in.  That and try to stop the water ingress from the roof...

And all this because the loo leaked...

Ah well, by Christmas I'll have a nice, serviceable bathroom

(Here endeth the diatribe on the manse bathroom....  I hope)

On Sunday I am rededicating/commissioning those of my folk who are active in our local mission.  This is not to say that others aren't active in mission where they work, rather that we choose to affirm publically those who 'do mission in our name.'

The dear old Baptist brick is a tad short of suitable liturgy - lots for ministers and BMS type missionaries, not a lot for Mrs Goggins who runs the toddler group or Mr Blogs who does Alpha, or whatever.

So, for anyone daft enough to want to use them as a starter for ten- and not to pick up my errors - here is what I'll be using, derived from something I wrote for children's and youth workers, which was derived from something I wrote for deacons... all of which are listed!

Inhouse Mission Workers liturgy

Children/Youth Workers liturgy (includes child protection)

Deacons liturgy

If anyone has any better liturgies, I`d love to see them - some of this feels a tad old-fashioned and heavy