Have just paid the University of Manchester £1.6k for the privilege of studying hard for another 12 months!  It's a lot of money - more than 10% of my (net) income (including occasional fees) and I have been pondering, in the light of what I'm preaching on on Sunday, about priorities, with respect to Haggai.

Is this expenditure £1.6k worth of self indulgence?  Or is it £1.6k given to the greater service of God? Or is it somewhere in the middle?  Is it justified when people all over the world die for lack of clean water or basic health care?  Would my life style be different if I wasn't paying out this figure?

£1.6k is the fees, but the books, software (at least in year 1) travel, summer school and various sundries push it well over £2k.  It's a lot of money and even if the nice people at the BU give me a bit of help with the fees, and generous friends let me stay with them at no charge, it eats away my meagre savings.

But then I think about Haggai again and wonder what kind of Temple I'm building for God and how much I'm just being materialistic.

A few clicks of the computer mouse and 'woof' £1.6k gone from me to the university.  That's a lot of bars of chocolate, cups of coffee, trips to the cinema etc etc.  It is also an awful lot of poverty relief.

So here I am, skint and on a guilt trip!  I enjoy the studying and the structure of the university course means it gets done and written up, which probably would not happen otherwise.  Whether this directly helps me in my disicpleship or ministry and/or whether it in any way benefits the church or Kingdom, I'm less sure.  I'd like to hope it does - maybe it's just my odd desire to read dusty old books rather than improve pastoral care or spiritual development resources that leaves me feeling uneasy.  If at the end of six years I am able to contribute something that enables churches to reflect better on how they contemplate change, then it will have been worth the time, effort and expense - and maybe I won't feel so guilty (even though I'll be very, very skint!)

A man walked into a Baptist church on a sunny Sunday morning.  It was an hour before service time but, amazingly, the doors were open and the musicians were rehearsing.  He was a little dishevelled, but clean.  He annonced he needed money to get to a Derbyshire town, and was asked to wait until a duty deacon arrived.

In due course the duty deacon arrived and said, ah I cannot answer that, you'll have to wait for the preacher to arrive.

Soon afterwards the visiting preacher arrived and was asked to speak to the man.  She offered several solutions to the man - a lift to bus or rail station and purchase of a ticket or someone who would be able to drive him to his chosen destination.  Each of these he declined, and left in a huff.  The member he'd first encountered commented that they'd have given him the money...

A few months later another man walked into another Baptist church on a sunny Sunday morning.  He was dirty, dishevelled and due to cerebral palsy a little difficult to understand.  Once more he was passed from member to deacon to minister (who had merely been attending the service as a visitor) and announced his desire for money to get a train to a Warwickshire cathedral city.  On this occasion, the minister found a person - another visitor to the service (but known to her) who was willing to accompany her to take the man to a rail station or the city itself.  The man was delivered to his chosen destination, bought food and left in a safe place...

So how do we now read the parable of the Good Samaritan?

These are true stories, and you don't need 'A 'levels to work out I was the minister.  They, along with other incidents when I am 'off duty' give me pause for thought, firstly about my own actions in the light of Matt 25 sheep and goats, secondly our actions as churches and Christians in the light of the Good Samaritan story, and lastly of our society where these incidents occur.

I have quite clear views on what help I will give to strangers, shaped partly by conversations with Big issue venders and genuine homeless people.  Each have told me that someone who is genuine will be grateful to receive appropriate material help food, gloves, to be put on a bus, etc.  So this I am willing to do, gladly and openly; but I do not give money.  I realise that this can seem like a lack of trust but it's my policy and it works for me.  If charity demeans the recipient, well, in my view, so does begging, and the latter more than the former.

I am left puzzled by our attitudes as churches and the 'upward' buck passing.  If churches have policies on such matters than anyone ought to be confident to act.  I wonder how much is fear of the unknown, how much is a sense of 'SEP' (someone else's problem) and how much that actually in C21 the parable of the Good Samaritan would need to be the story of the Good Priest?  How can I - or we - address these fears, or whatever they are, in a way that brings Kingdom to such events?

Lastly I am troubled by the indifference of care provision.  We ascertained that yesterday's man lived in a refuge or hostel in Leicester.  Having concerns over his safety as he was physcially and emotionally vulnerable (I suspect mental health issues and clear evidence of substance abuse) we contacted them.  They were unsurprised that he was 'on his travels' and affirmed that he was free to do as he wished.  Whilst in one sense this got us 'off the hook' in agreeing to take him, I was saddened that the level of support he had was so abysmal.  My fear is that one day this young man will be found at the side of a road, failed by a society that has the audacity to call itself Christian and caring.

I don't have any answers, just more questions to add to my list.  The Iona song Will You Come and Follow Me has the powerful line "will you kiss the leper clean", I admit that I struggle with the more radical aspects of Jesus' call, and hugging (never mind kissing) 'lepers' is something I find difficult to do, yet I do believe it is part of our call - whether we are guitarists, deacons, ministers or whatever. 

Hear then the enigma of radical disipleship...

Up early today (one of the few benefits of afternoon services is that, like normal people, I usually get a lie in on a Sunday) as I have to get to two services this morning and whatever I do or don't do will be wrong.

At 9:30 is the last service at St S&B before their priest leaves and services are suspended.  This is semantics to keep the powers that be happy - the final service has to be deconsecration and cannot take place without the bishop's say so (or some such) but ask anyone who goes to that church and today is the last time they'll be there.  A few of us are going along to support folk there - we have some empathy with their plight.  I asked my deacons for opinions on whether I could attend - most did not reply, so I told them I was taking that as lack of objection, but I know that my sense that I need to say that is pertinent - I am anticipating retrospective objection.

Immediately that service ends, I will dash to D+1 for our joint service with them, arriving at least 15 minutes late and no doubt attracting a few scowls.  I have told the preacher (the moderator) and some of their deacons, so it is not unknown but how it will be interpretted...  I feel I'm doing my best to please all parties but can already anticipate the comments and looks I'll get...

Last night I was sad enough to watch the Eurovision Dance Contest and watched the usual charade of voting where certain geogrpahical areas seemed to vote for each other and the UK came second last, with poor old Switzerland getting the wooden spoon prize of nurl points.  Whilst I don't think UK were best (I liked Ukraine, Greece and Lithuania) they weren't that bad either.  No one takes Eurovision things too seriously, which is perhaps as well, but I did find myself thinking that actually we are not a very popular nation and wondering what, specifically, causes that.  Most of the dancers were happy to use English language music to dance to and the whole idea emerged from a UK TV format so are there some odd double standards going on here? [Actually at times I wondered if it was the European stripping contest, as there seemed to be rather a lot of it going on!!]

Not entirely sure how the two strands are connected, just something about power games and politics that seems to permeate every aspect of life, and not for the better, I'd argue.

As part of a task I am currently involved with, I spent a little time today trawling around church websites.  I was left hoping that people don't judge God or Jesus by what they find, because if I was looking, I'd give up on most pretty quickly.

In principle, I think that church websites are a good idea - they are an excellent way of making available exactly the type of information people might want to know - where you are, what you do, when you do it.  Sadly, too many try to be too clever and, frankly, fail miserably - sometimes on a page last updated three years ago it says 'coming soon' - in eschatological terms maybe, but not much use here and now...  Others are careless and post information that is confidential or sensitive - pastoral news or prayer requests really ought not to be published or, if it is, should be confined to a password protected area.  A few are even quite scary - one sent me to a "fun" 'how good are you' quiz which basically told me I deserved eternal punishment because I wasn't good enough: well intentioned, I'm sure, but not exactly encouraging people to consider a relationship with God through Jesus.

Periodically I have wondered about setting up a website for our church, but always conclude against.  The truth is there is no one else who would (or probably, could) take this on - if the church cannot suggest or fulfil this then it is better not to start it.  More pertinently, I wonder how carefully churches think about the purpose of their websites - who is it for? what is it trying to achieve?  how easy is it to use?  how much work is needed to keep it up to date?  In my view, a single page with location (and maybe a link to a map site), service times, main midweek activities and contact details is what people want to find.  Photos are nice - the outside of where you meet can be helpful if someone is looking for it, the face of the contact person is a bonus. A little bit of extra information can be helpful - so long as it is honest.  What is not good is to read about the upcoming exciting mission event that happened last autumn, the sermon series from January or the letter from the minister who retired six months back.  And just occasionally the lack of proof reading is so evident that it makes my, usually unchecked, blog entries look good.

Blogs that never get updated but are left to clutter cyberspace are a nusiance; dare I suggest that bad church websites are an insult.

We say we want more women involved in Baptist life beyond the local church.  We say we want more people under 40 involved. And I say, 'yes and amen.'  And then reality hits (again!).

Yesterday I was chatting to an under 40's woman who is very active in local Baptist life.  As part of this she has to attend a couple of three day residential events a year.  To my knowledge, she does not have paid emplyoment - which would make this role difficult if not impossible for her to fulfil - her husband is an HMF minister and they have young children.  When she attends residential (or other weekday) events she has to arrange childcare in order that her husband can work.  Whether this is paid for or whether there is a good network of local people willing to help out, I don't know, but it is obviously another factor to be considered, and if it is paid for how do they manage to out of an HMF stipend?

I admire the work that has been done to try to engage more younger people in Baptist life.  I just wonder if there isn't a whole lot more we need to do - as churches, as Associations, even as a Union, to support those who are willing to serve us in this way?