You know the ones...

Thou shalt start thy morning service at 10:30 a.m. and evening services at 6:00 p.m.  [It is regretted that in some places heresy such as bus timetables or rental arrangements have been permitted to corrupt the natural order and morning service commence at 10:45 or 11:00.  In certain places (please pray for them) a single 3 p.m. service is now deemed permissable!!!]

Thou shalt keep thy services to 60 minutes unless it is Communion Sunday in which case 75 is permitted.

Thou shalt have Communion on the evening of the first Sunday of the month and the morning of the third Sunday of the month.  Where there is a fifth Sunday in the month thy minister may get confused and do Communion again; where this is so thou shalt forgive thy minister as a mere fool for Christ.

Thou shalt sing only from the green book/red book/SOF book/MP book/powerpoint as thy musicians shall dictate, and all single verse songs shall be sung a minimum of twice, though 3.5 times, beginning half way through shalt be preferred if more than 50 persons are present. 

Thou shalt sing four hymns on ordinary Sundays, five when thou celebratest the Lord's Supper.

Thou shalt provide for children to be sent eleswhere in the premsies to spare them the full horrors of listening unto the sermon.  Here they shalt engage in creative means of exploring faith including disucssion and questioning.  Then thou shalt be surprised that they leave the church when thou deemest them too old for this method of learning to listen for God.

Thou shalt hold Church Meetings at 7:30 p.m. (unless thou art in NWBA in which case it shall be Sundays after the service) and thy meetings shall not exceed a duration of 2.5 hours unless thou precedest them with coffee.  Likewise thy deacons shall meet for at least 3 hours, and meetings continuing unto midnight are yea verily impressive...

Any others?

Every now and then I post on this topic, usually when I've been away from my own little patch and have experienced the paucity of prayer in worship elsewhere.

Evangelical Christians are big on 'Quiet Times' and 'Personal Prayer' or even 'Prayer Meetings' to which no one comes (cynical?  you bet!) but we are rubbish at corporate prayer.  Thinking back to this year's Baptist Assembly, my only experience of corporate intercessory prayer was in the closing All Age Worship; apart from that and the prayers for Minsiters and Missionaries, it was mainly a lot of 'really just wow Jesus' stuff.

Here in Costa del Old Fangled, we have two very distinct prayer slots in the service - at the start is a combination of Praise/Thanks and Confession (sometimes as two distinct items rather than one flowing into the other); after the sermon (and before Communion if it's that week) we have 'Prayers for Others' led by various people on a rota, which include world affairs, local issues and finally our own fellowship.  I honestly believe that this connection of 'church and world' begins to shape our thinking about Mission and allows God to speak to us about our role as Good News (word made flesh); in churches where there is no prayer for the world/local community I suspect there is less urgency to live out the connection as church becomes the place we go to enjoy God.

This Sunday our service is a rare 'one woman show' when I will lead the intercessions.  It is a joy and privilege to lead God's people in praying for God's world; just wish a few more Baptist events would discover it...

A couple of times recently I've been asked by people what we did when we closed our church building, and today am posting off a copy to someone not on email.  Maybe there's a need for something people can access 'ready made' so I'm offering it here.  Some of it is from other (acknowledged) sources, but most is my own work.  Please feel free to adapt or use it but not either to pretend you invented it or to publish it for profit.  It was my offering to God, I hope it helps you with yours...

Thanksgiving for Building

A couple of other ideas, with candles...

1. At the start of the service a large candle is lit, at the end, each person lights a small candle and carries it out symbolising taking the Light of Christ out into the world or to a new place  (courtesy of Stuart Jenkins)
2. A candle is lit before the service, as the servcie prgresses, the story of the congregation is told and smaller candles are lit or extinguished as groups are born or die.  At the end of the service the central candle remains, surrounded by candles that represent what is still 'live' and illuminated by the central Christ light; even if this congregation closes, the light burns on.  (courtesy of Katie Baker).

I guess these last two could be combined if desired.

Just back from a wonderful time away walking Hadrian's Wall and catching up with friends.  The scenery was spectacular, the weather superb (only rained for the last half hour) and my walking companion as long suffering as ever.  Five days with an average of 18 miles a day is a good walk.  Add backpacks and hills and it's a very good walk!!

As with all of these adventures parts were interesting and parts were "interesting" - like one of the places we stayed, a youth hostel mascerading as a B&B which served the smallest steak (one chunk) and ale (ale? what ale!) pie you ever did see.  Still, it was a good talking point.  The warden asked us what we did for a living - and the reply 'I'm a Baptist minister' had its usual conversation ending effects; after that we refered to ourselves as Rev and Irrev, though I think I'm more the latter than the former!

Best stay was definitely at Willowford Farm run by a young couple, Liam and Lauren, who combine a working sheep farm with organic/Fairtrade B&B.  A three course evening meal was available and more than made up for the steak-less ale-less pie... delicious feta cheese salad; succulent happy pig with fresh veg, and (I'm fairly certain) John Tovey's recipe sticky toffee pudding with real vanilla icecream, then hand made chocs with the tea/coffee.... bliss!  Good place for a country break even if you don't like walking.  (Apologies here to Andy A for waffling about 'what I had for tea')

We liked Henry Stedman's Trailblazer Guide better than the national trails version - his sketch maps were helpful, his commentary the right balance of info and humour and his walking times right for us.  (I now know what a shlep is, as well as where the pubs, cafes, drinks facilities and loos are located!)

Some stunning views along the way and this time the worst injury was a broken lid on a water bottle!  Next year.... well maybe Offas' Dike in two weeks.  But for now, a couple of days to finish unwinding before I get back to routine.

Oh, by the way, does my bum look big in this backpack?!  (Thanks Jean for walking and taking photos)

If you visit You Tube now and then you may have come accross the 'Christian vs Christ Follower' parody (or are they...) films.

Here are a couple for you to enjoy while I'm safely out of your way: here and here