I started awake at 2:30 this morning, nothing unusual there, between nigthsweats and an overactive brain I rarely sleep through the night.  When I listened to the news later on, I learned that this was the time that Police were called to Moss Side following a multiple shooting.

I have a soft spot for Moss Side, mainly because when I was at Vicar School I lived on its northern edge.  For a year I worked with an Anglican church serving the Alexandra Park Estate - the Alex Estate as we called it.  Here people of many nationalities, races and faiths lived alongside one another, mostly peacefully, often in poverty and with a shared history of gangs, drugs and riots, police 'stop-and-search' and more.  I wel recall driving slowly round the estate looking for a house nyumber, to disocver I was being followed by a police car whose driver assumed I was up to no good...

For sure, it was black majority, my white face stood out like a sore thumb pretty much anyhwere I went. Yes, there were young men who carried guns or kept one under the bed. And, certainly, I attended the funeral of at least one gang-land murder.

But it was a place where mostly people were peaceable, peace-loving and decent.

Today my prayers are especially for the folk at St Eds and St James, the churches I knew best.  I also pray for Moss Side, for Hulme, for Lonsight and all the other neighbourhoods and communities in Manchester that, too readily, are labelled negatively due to the actions of a few.

This landed onmy doormat (OK in my letter cage) a few minutes before this post.  I know that it is from someone at church, because we used these messages in our Not-the-Nativity Service and posted them out in January.

I am touched that someone has kept their message and passed it on to me at a time when I am not exactly Little Miss Sunshine.

So, whoever you are, thank you so much.  It was a lovely surprise and gladdened my heart more than you can know.  It's now pinned to the cork-board in my office.

Via social media someone sent me a link to part of a 15 minutes video from 1980.  It seems to have been filmed on a Sunday, with lots of people piling out of one of the nearby churches and a small number of people turning out of the street where the Gathering Place is located... so I wonder if anyone from there recognsises any faces?  Given these are mature people back in 1980 it's fair to say I almost certainly never met them!

https://player.bfi.org.uk/free/film/watch-great-western-road-1980-1980-online-online Hopefully if you click the link it'll take you there... Amusing to see where we currently worship as a building site...

Way back (as in over 20 years ago) there was a kiddies' worship song that said, 'step by step, on and on, we will walk with Jesus 'til the journey's done...' which stuck in my mind (obviously) and which carries a message I found, and continue to find, helpful.

As yesterday approached, I wasn't sure how it would feel or how it would be, I just knew that if I had too much time to dwell it would unhelpful.

Yesterday's weather in Glasgow probably expressed my feelings well - a range of short, sharp showers and some glorious sunshine.

Spending an evening with friends around my dinner table was a great distraction and very healing.  There were some full on belly laughs at stories people shared; there were deep matters explored with a lighness of touch and of spirit; there was much food consumed; the kitties were absolutely amazing in their chilled out, friendly engagement with so many humans.

The first-first has been negotiated; none will ever be as significant.  The journey forward continues, step by step, on and on... 'Don't worry about tomorrow, Jesus knows the way ahead,' not, I suggest, in a pre-planned, pre-ordained way, but because he has lived as we live, and walked the same walk of love and laughter and loss.

Today I really must create something to deliver on Sunday... it's a tricky passage and whatever I say could easily be misunderstood or misinterpretted so much care and much wisdom is needed. over to you, then HSp.

The "eighth of the eighth"... my Mum's birthday, and exactly three months (to the day rather than the date, which is tomorrow) since she died. Sometimes being a person who is wired to 'do' dates is a bane rather than a blessing!

It has felt strange not choosing a card, not ordering flowers, not booking somewhere to take her for lunch (which I would have done on Monday, as the scored through note on my calendar reminds me).

And it has felt deeply sad not being able to do those things.  The strange tension of not missing getting up at 4 a.m. to catch the train with the empty place that is left behind.  The gladness that she is free from all the frustrations and limitations and the regret that she never did get the party she wanted, because she had no recollection of the one we did for her 80th (at which this photo was taken).  The certainty that we parted well and the ongoing 'I must tell Mum' moments.

I'm not sure how I feel today - or how I am 'meant' to feel (so often I tell other people that however they feel is right, but even so...)

So for now, I share this photo of a happy day, and which, for me at least, has good associations, and I remind myself that she is at rest, held safe in the love of God... as, indeed, am I.