Yesterday, suddenly, seemingly very quickly and almost certainly with little or no pain, my Mum died. Today I am in Northamptonshire starting the process of arranging her funeral, and the practicalities that go alongside death.

With my Mum's death, an era ends, and I find myself not only the 'top generation' but, as an oldest child, the 'top of the top generation'. Whilst my Mum became the 'top generation' at the age of 59/60, she only became the top of the top at 80 - the age she was when this photo was taken - after her two older siblings had died.

It still feels quite odd that I won't ever (in this life at least) speak to her again, and that the phone conversation we had on Saturday (or was it Sunday?) turned out to be the last 'bye for  now'. At the moment, there is lots to do, and maintaining normality is part of how I 'cope', but a day will come when it finally hits home that she really is gone.

Lots to reflect upon - it's way too soon to write a tribute to her, rather I simply note that she was - and is - my Mum, and I love her.

... then it must be Glasgow!

The next little while is very busy, as I will be taking part in events across a large sweep of the British mainland.

On Friday, I travel southwards to Peterborough ahead of the BUGB-BMS Assembly.  I am looking forward to meeting up with a minister friend from Wales on the Friday evening and catching up on each other's news.  The event itself is all day Saturday, and I expect to see - if fleetingly - minister friends and folk from many churches (including a couple who didn't call me!).  After dinner with women ministers who are part of my online support network, it will be a train further into Cambridgeshire to stay overnight with friends before the privilege of a 'guest preach' on Sunday morning.

Back on the train to Glasgow, sleep in my own bed and then on Monday morning, off to just outside Falkirk for the BUS Board of Ministry selection and accreditation conference for two days.  Here I will have the privilege of sharing with those seeking to become accredited ministers, and with those whose 'probationary period' is now complete.  Lots and lots of prep work still to be done for this - good job I have some  long train rides!

All of that will bring me to the end of Tuesday, and then, once again, if it is Wednesday, it must be Glasgow!

Blogging may be even more sporadic, but all is well, I'm probably just on a train to somewhere...!

This morning we marked Christian Aid week, a week ahead of most people, which is unusual, because often we have one of the last churches to get there!

We were thinking about 'home' and what makes a 'home' home... not bricks and mortar, but people; not perfection but authenticity; not unanimity but diversity.

We were invited to sign a petition to HM Government, and we we were invited to write or draw prayers or messages on paper 'bricks' which will be posted to Christian Aid, and thence to the Prime Minister.  Some of the messages were heart-meltingly poignant, coming from people who have fled their homes - local and overseas - in fear and who now have to build new lives.  Here are a few 'bricks' chosen to illustrate the range of what people shared...

This week, Sasha had to go to the Vet Hospital for  tests - something she finds very stressful, and which resulted on a mega-sulk lasting around 24 hours!

Yesterday evening, we held a meeting in the manse where Sophie, as always, stole the milk from the jug, and towards the end, Sasha made an appearance, accepting snuggles from anyone-but-Catriona.

It was lovely to wake up to find myself forgiven... and pinned to the bed!

Not only do cats love (in their unique way) they are also incredibly forgiving... 70 x 7 and then some.

Way back in the 1970s there was a worship song that began " I get so excited, Lord, every time I realise, I'm forgiven"...

Being forgiven by Sasha reminded me of this song and, whilst I can't imagine it being part of any service any time soon, I did metaphorically at least find my feet dancing, and my heart filling with warmth to realise that Sasha has forgiven me. And if that is so, how much more amazing the truth that God has forgiven, is forgiving, and will forgive, not just me, and not just once, but everyone and always. I reckon that justifies a bit of dancing and excuses some cheesy lyrics.

This is somewhat grumpy post, because I hate bad maths mascquerading as growth strategy. It gets used in the worlds of industry and commerce, and annoys me there, so, when it finds its way into a headline for a church growth seminar, I get very irritated!

I do 'get' what is being intended, and I am sure there are some great ideas behind the headline, but "double your number of baptisms next year" annoys me on many, many levels (not just maths ones).

Any Baptist Church, ABC, has had zero baptisms for as long as anyone can recall.  So if ABC doubles the number of baptisms next year it will have - oh, zero.  In fact, should ABC have one baptism it is an infinite increase (measured in terms of multiples), so out performs any church that simple doubles. Actually, my suspicion is that going from zero to one is far more significant than going from two to four, or ten to twenty.

Bigger Baptist Church, BBC, had one baptism last year. So this year it hopes for two, next year for four, the year after for eight... If this continues, BBC will have baptised the entire population of the planet in around 30 years. (It's that old grains of rice on a chessboard puzzle). Sorry, but it ain't going to happen!

Then there is Our Baptist Church, OBC.  We last had a Baptism roughly five years, we had two one year, and one the year after. This year we have five. That's much more messy maths.  I've been here for nearly nine years, so that will average out at a little under one a year.  Doubling zero, or one or two or even five feels pretty meaningless to me; particpating in each baptism is hugely meaningful.

More importantly, and not just me doing a bit of pedantic maths, what does the number of baptisms actually measure? Is anyone counting the number of people leaving by the back door? (Of the four people I have baptised (three here, one elsewhere) two are still active in the churches concerned, one has now moved to a different church that better fits their spirituality, and the fourth has vanished depsite efforts to keep contact).  If baptism is part of a 'numbers game' it is a poor choice, potentially giving false reassurance that all is well.

Defining church growth is a thorny topic, one I studied in depth many moons ago when I was researching church health.  Growth isn't just - or even necessarily - bums-on-seats or baptisms or any other numerical count, it includes factors such as demography, diversity, sprituality, theological depth and breadth.

OBC - The Gathering Place - is growing numercally, we've had to ask the hotel for more chairs and had to restructure our Sunday School. We are increasingly diverse, and attracting thinking adults in their 20s and 30s including asylum seekers, overseas students and professionals. Hardly a week passes without some visitors dropping by, and former members often visit when in Glasgow.  We are learning to be an Affirming church where all are welcome to exercise their gifts, whilst embracing and encouraging those who find that more difficult. I think we are a healthy church, a fallible and forgiving church, and that. for me matters far more than how many people get very soggy on any given Sunday or in any given year.