There are some sermons, or some Sundays perhaps, where you have exactly one chance to get it right, and if you don't well oh...my...word.

It feels that this coming Sunday is one such.  I am happy with the readings the lectionary skewed by a week to fit our special services in October has given me.  And this morning I have written a first draft of my sermon - kind of into a black hole but then that's also kind of deliberate, as it's important to me to 'bring a word' that is true whatever the outcome of the referendum.

I aniticipate that come Sunday I will have a congregation of folk split roughly 50-50 on how they voted because we are sufficiently diverse to be strangely normal, as churches go.  Even if the percentages are way out, some will be pleased and some won't, some will be fearful and others excited.  And in God's infinite wisdom, I am the one who has to speak to them 'a word in season' not to 'tickle their ears' but to bring 'good news' to a complex and historic moment.

Most of my readers 'do praying' so please pray for all religious leaders in Scotland, and indeed in the whole of the UK-as-currently-constituted, of all faiths, as we endeavour to set aside our own preferences, prejudices and feelings to speak peace to those we are entrusted to serve.

It isn't very often there's a queue at a polling station at 7 a.m., I have had to do so before today but not often; it was encouraging to see people hastening to cast their votes early.

At the same time it all felt a bit strange and strained... no-one made eye contact with anyone, and when the person behind me spoke it drew disapproving glances. This is serious stuff, no place for banter, no risk of giving away our intentions, just eyes down, concentrate and do whatever you believe to be correct.  It's good that people are very serious about this, it's history changing stuff either way.  Maybe I'm just to flip, but a smile and a good morning never hurt anyone.

Then the walk to church and the collection of bemused voters outside the school that closed two years ago... so I directed them to where it is now.  This happened at the European elections too... worrying that people don't read what is printed on the polling card.

So that's it, after reading, viewing, listening, reflecting, praying (a little bit - isn't all of life potentially a prayer?), reflecting, tossing and turning, losing sleep and worrying far too much about this or that unintended consequence of this or that outcome, I finally made a choice, cast a vote and now wait to see what everyone else thinks.

A lot has been posted on websites, blogs and social media that has been, in my opinion, intemperate, ill-judged or unhelpful.  I know there have been moments when I have reacted unhelpfully to other people's views - so I apologise for those.  When I wake up tomorrow, unless endless recounts have proved necessary the result will be known - and one thing I am sure of, whatever it is I will my best to continue to do my best to serve the church I love in this part of God's Kingdom, which ultimately is the only allegiance that matters imo.

One last thought - Jesus said "love your enighbour as you love yourself" (as did many other spiritual leaders).  Whatever tomorrow brings, may love be our guiding principle.

Q: why was the patient's cough better in the morning?

A: they'd been up all night practising!

Monday evening's sniffle turned into a full blown yucky cold, complete with high temperature, coughs, sneezes and general bleughness... so I took yesterday off and cancelled today's appointments.

After last night's coughing rehearsal, even though I feel much better and the temperature is only a bit above normal, I am taking another day off and have cancelled the rest of this week's appointments (well, apart from one on Friday afternoon that would be disastrous).

One of the dangers of ministerial life is the sense that we are somehow indispensible - that we have to keep going even when our bodies cry 'stop', because, afterall, there's always Sunday to prepare for.

However, for once in a way, and because there are importnat things I want to be well enough to do next week, I'm going to be sensible and take today off too.

In the meantime, I guess its warm drinks and day time TV for me!!

I know that this blog is read by people around the world, because every now and then someone is kind enough to contact me by email or social media in response to something I've written.

In the last couple of days some of those same people have made mention on the upcoming referendum and how it is being reported globally - sometimes it would seem to the detriment of their own, local, and equally importnat, issues.

I have resisted making too many comments on my opinions which have, as any good Scot might express it, swithered and, despite at times having thought I had decided (both ways) I am still in one final swither (using my English habit of transforming verbs to nouns and vice versa).

Tomorrow Scotland decides and then we - all of us, Scotland, currently-constituted-UK, world - begin to work out the 'what next'.

Into that context where hope and fear, dread and excitement, rhetoric and vitriol abound, I offer two things, a quote from today's Financial Times (borrowed from a friend and unverified by me, the words are wise even though economics is only one part of the considerations) and a prayer from the Church of Scotland.

I'm afraid social media has shown me too many Christians, let alone others, being less than gracious in their comments and observations (and I know I've been grumpy and stroppy in real life) so I am not allowing comments on this post.  It will be what it will be, what matters is how we bring Gospel into whatever it is.

John Kay in the Financial Times:

"Stop the scaremongering - Scotland can prosper, Yes or No!!!!!

The present debate is demeaned by posturing and scaremongering on both sides. Scotland has prospered as part of a United Kingdom and could prosper as an independent country. Which course is more appropriate is a question of identity and values, not economics. And whatever outcome is declared on Friday morning, sensible people will work together to ensure that outcome produces the best possible economic result".

When you made me Lord,
you gave me the capacity to choose.
I live in a country, at a time in history
when I am given a vote.
Thank you for these privileges.
But sometimes I find choosing difficult.
To say ‘yes’ to one option,
means saying ‘no’ to the other.
It’s a huge responsibility,
and this one seems biggest of them all.
What if I change my mind?
What if I make a mistake?
The agony of indecision!
I feel like a flag in the wind.
I blow one way, then the other.
I ask for wisdom and direction.
Help me to choose well,
not just for me and my own
but for the whole nation.
Amen

Rev Neil Dougall
Convener, Ministries Council

Today I've made arrangements for Saxo to be taken away and scrapped and, being worth her weight in pounds sterling, to be donated to BMS World Mission.  I assume that prior to squishing, she will be stripped of all saleable parts, being an automotive organ donor.

I've also signed up to membership of City Car Club so will be able to hire a smart new car that isn't necessarily small and dark blue whenever I need one.

Definitely the end of an era - I've owned four cars in my life, three of which have been dark blue super-minis.  I hope this change in the equilibrium of the universe is not catastrophic!

Farewell Saxo... if folk religion can be applied to cars, then Corrie, Molly and Annie will be waiting for you at the rainbow petrol pump!!