This week I was down in Swanwick for a couple of nights at the BUGB ministers' refresher conference.  I love Swanwick, it holds many happy memories for me, and it did not disappoint.

It was good to catch up with friends serving in Wales and England, and good to listen to the thoughts of others.  It was a privilege to share my NZ paper with a small group, who laughed in the right places and engaged in good discussion afterwards.

It was good, too, to get back home, to pick up the routine work of ministry, to wrestle with real concerns, to be the person I am called to be.

I'm not honestly sure I came back feeling refreshed, but I came home with stuff to ponder, and that seems like a positive outcome.

Down the years, I've managed to set off for church having left various things at home... books or papers, a service script (thankfully I had time, on that occasion, to drive the ten miles home and back again and still be early!), visual aids and so on. 

Today I managed to arrive at church without my keys!  So, even before my day begins I've walked a few miles (a little in excess of 4 I think) and I still managed to be here with plenty of time for the various tasks today will bring.

Ninety-nine times out of every hundred, I put my church keys in the same pocket of my handbag... yesterday I didn't and a rare failure to check before I set off this morning meant they were still in my coat pocket from yesterday.

The moral of this tale?  Even organised people are fallible, and me especially so.

Today we had our first Bible Study exploring aspects of the apocrypha - it was, as it almost always is, the highlight of my week.  Five of us were able to gather and look at a few examples of writing from the apocrypha that have inspired hymn-writers...

On the basis of our explorations we are ditching Psalm 151 and keeping Ecclesiasticus... next time one of the group members will lead a study looking at aspects of Tobit - should be good!

OK, ok, I know it isn't "my" church, it's Christ's church... it's the church of which I am part, and I love it.

As we shared worship this morning people were loving, gracious and 'business as usual' with those they were pretty confident had voted differently from themselves because we know, we really know, that we are still who we are and we can do this.

It's funny the things that stick in your mind, and I still carry in my heart a kernel of truth from the sermon at my (our) induction service - be kind to each other.  We do our best - sometimes we suceed, sometimes we fail but we know it's a good aim, so we keep on, keeping on.

Another thing that came to mind this week, was something someone said to me on hearing of my cancer diagnosis four years ago which was, to the effect of "the only thing that has changed is that now you know".  Which was true.  And was not true.  Because knowing changed everything.  This morning "the only thing that had changed was that we knew the outcome of the referendum" and that changes everything... not suddenly and earth shatteringly, but now we know (as we would have done with a different outcome) where we are at this point in time.

After the service several people thanked me for what I had shared (every prayer I used was borrowed, I wanted to avoid my biases (except in choosing) from emerging, or badly chosen words causing offence).

I love my church because on the first Sunday after the referdendum, 'ayes' and 'noes' were distributed throughout the congregation, and two new students, who look like they might be settling with us, saw us at our best - loving, sincere, thoughtful, diverse, slightly eccentric (apparently, I've never noticed) aiming for inclusivity and trying our best to follow Jesus.  What's not to love?

This from here will be used in morning worship...

A Post Referendum Meditation

The cases were made, the arguments honed

with anger, commitment, emotion, enthusiasm, passion, reason ...

Promises and threats:

the body personal and politic pummelled, enervated, engaged,

strained by social and inner divisions and stretched by honest differences.

The people of Scotland have voted: we have voted. I have voted.

For our own many reasons we placed our crosses in one box not another

For my reasons I placed my cross in one box not another.

Some of us came to our decision with ease, some only `after long struggle.

Reasons constitutional, emotional, historical, moral, political, religious, social

Crosses placed angrily, economically, enthusiastically, fearfully, generously,

hopefully, patriotically, rationally, regretfully ....

... and here we are today, tomorrow,

living in the light and shade of this decision that we have made

and others are witnessing.

People have watched on as the votes were cast and counted, result delivered

We are taking stock of our decision,

We are responding emotionally, politically, personally, as individuals,

families, neighbourhoods, nations, countries.

We are feeling .....

We are thinking ...

And now? What next?

We have voted

Where do we go from here?