The sun is streaming through the windows of my office, and I sweltered on the walk to work... summer must be coming.

This post is a bit of an advert really.  Advertising a couple of upcoming summery events with which we have connections.

First is the Glasgow West End Festival for which we have organised a couple of events and are hosting one or two others.  Lots of things for people of all ages and interests, so should be something fun.  I am trying to shape my services around a 'festival' theme and our choir is offering a musical midsummer communion as a evening act of worship.  There are due to be two 'Philosophy Cafes' at the Gathering Place with great speakers, but no so highbrow I won't understand it!!  Check the website and come and say hello - we'd love to see you.

Then there is SOLAS a sparkly new Christian Arts Festival for Scotland (welcoming people from Ireland, Wales and England too) which sounds great (even if it clashes date-wise with the above).  This is not just Greenbelt with a Scottish Accent, although Greenbelt is one of the partners (with Christian Aid) and there will be some similarities.  One of our folk is part of the planning team; we have made a small financial donation for this year are seriously contemplating supporting/partnering/"sainting" for next year... watch this space.

Meanwhile enjoy the sunshine

I thought I ought to post this one to balance the last one... even if both are really 'against' myself.

This morning I popped into the cafe over the road from church, the propriertors of which have just returned from a fortnight's holiday, cunningly avoiding the ash cloud by flying from Doncaster apparently.

Anyway, they said, 'oh we were talking about you while we were on holiday.'

Ulp, I thought.

'Yes, we were commenting on Leicestershire dialect and how food is called 'snap' '

To which I added, something to the effect of, 'yes, I know, and they also mash tea.  How does anyone mash tea?'

All of which made us laugh... and the other customers probably thought we were mad.  Especially those from the south of England.

Anyway, all went off alright today (even if I was glad I'd been lied to that the slot after us was taken) and I attended the purvey... which of course in Leicestershire would have probably been termed a 'buffy' (pronounced as in Vampire slayer) as the local variant of buffet (as in buffay not buff-et which is what storms do to small boats).  Silly language we use isn't it!!

Is a Gorton-ish word for 'mispronunciation' and is probably of mixed West Midlands and Glaswegian origins.

Today I received an email referring to a 'purvey' which I knew from the context approximated to a 'wake.'  But I wasn't sure how to say the word in this context.  Even though 'purvey' [parts of Scotland] has the same etymology as 'purvey' [the rest of the UK] its pronunciation differs.

Purvey [per-vay] to provide, supply, sell as in 'purveyor of fine comestibles'

Purvey [per-vee] repast provided after a funeral (and sometimes a wedding) as in 'the purvey is at the hotel'

c.f. Pervy [sl.  per-vee] decidedly suspect in ways a minister could not possible know about as in 'that all sounds a bit pervy to me'

Saying 'pervay'got me laughed at (good naturedly)... but is less risky than saying 'per-vee' darn sarf.  'Are you coming to the pervy...?'  I think not!!

No, not reshearsing the sermon, sourcing the giveaways for the all age bit.

As we are twixt Ascension and Pentecost the title for the day is 'waiting for God' and the All Together bit centres on patience.  My bright idea was to buy some 'party favour' ball maze puzzles, so I trotted off to my local card shop to make my purchase.  They had some, which I bought, but only one design - football: no good for my pink-loving girls.  So, several hours (well about three) followed, traipsing around parts of Glasgow in search of said items... supermarkets, pound shops, card shops, party shops, you name it I tried it, before finally finding packs of pink maze games in Sainsbury's at Braehead (the one in Partick didn't).  So lots of patience was needed.

Oh, and be sure if you are a minister there is nowhere you can hide... whenever I shop 'off patch' I meet someone from church and yesterday was no exception!

Probably the moral is not to buy giveaways?  Certainly it was incarnational learning!!

One of the challenges all ministers face is writing addresses for funerals.  Many factors affect this, but it always seems especially tricky when the service takes place at a crematorium and time is very limited.  One consolation in dear old Dibley was that slots were 45 minutes apart which gave you the full 25 minutes you were permitted for the service itself even if there a lot of people to get in and out.  Here slots are 30 minutes apart and there is a tradition known locally as the 'penguin parade' (family greet those who have come) that can easily occupy 5-10 minutes if the funeral is large.  So, allowing for time in and time out, two hymns and a couple of prayers, the tribute and the promise of hope have to be very sparse.  Hence today I have been trying to describe a life in 750 words.

Makes you pause for thought - how would you sum up your own life in 750 words?  Achievements? People? Characteristics?  Faith?  Facts?  Feelings?

Sadly funerals seem to get shorter and shorter, increasingly the deceased doesn't even get to 'attend', and families often worry more about food and flowers than the rite of passage itself.  We need to rediscover the catharsis of real mourning, the strengthening of being reminded of our hope in Christ... that cannot be neatly packaged into 20 minutes and 750 words by anyone.