This is a bit of a stream of consciousness mind dump!

When I was in my teens, I don't recall voting ever being mentioned in church.  What I learned about the democratic process I owe to my Girls' Brigade Queen's Award, which required us to study UK politics (of the time), understand how local government worked, attend a council meeting and answer exam questions on the whole of this!  My Dad's life long inteterest in politics, and his dyed-in-the-wool Conservative outlook was also influential - from a young age it was drilled into all of us that we must always vote (and vote Tory, for that matter!).

I recall what I think was the first General Election in which I was eilgible to vote and rousing my Dad's ire as I cast my vote for the newly emergent SDP... so much so that I never dared vote other than his party line for a long time!

A lot of water has flown under the political bridge since then, and my views on politics (more than my views on issues) have changed a lot.  Having been schooled by my Dad in the merits of the current first past the post system, it was a long time before I began to think more deeply about this, eventually coming to the view that some form of proprotional representation had to be better... whether it be the Single Transferrable Vote or (one of) the Alternative Vote systems, none is perfect, but increasing they would suit my fence-sitting, floating-voter self better.  This time around I narrowed my field to three out of seven candidates, and would have much preferred to rank those than choose one... ah well.  I made my choice and am at peace about that decision.  My Dad would be pleased I voted... but not about the three I picked from!

This year I've allocated three Sundays to focus on topics around the election... and so have many other ministers in many other churches (indeed for some it has been five or six week!).  That seems like a step change, as if the church is finally waking up to its role in helping to shape the wider society and the need to get it's collective hands dirty.

I'm apprehensive about Sunday, and I've said so many, many times.  I'm not someone who is excited and energised by party politics or the electoral process, but I recognise the need to engage with it, and to think hard and pray hard about it.  I'm more interested in what might be termed micro-politics, things like the choices I make in the supermarket, where I bank, which brand of cat food I buy (though at the moment I have no choice on that one).  I'm glad there are Christians interested in macro-politics, party politics, national and international politics... the challenge is how best to support them.

As my old Dad used to say, people died to get you the vote, so get out and vote.  And whoever you vote for remember that's just the start of it - we mustn't abdicate our responsibility to work for the changes we claim to desire whether local, national or global.

From the C of E via a Baptist friend in Wales.

Please vote, it is very important.

A quick look at an online Baptist discussion group of which I am part revealed a question asking, "Is there a right 'Christian' vote in the election?"  The answer is of course 'no' if you mean "is there one and only one party that is the correct choice".  Some people pointed out that there might be answers to a question "Is there a wrong 'Christian' vote in the election?" but that it is impossible to say "vote thus and so" as the one, true, Christian vote.

In the constituency where the Gathering Place is located, we have eight candidates standing.  I am fairly certain that there are people who will vote for each of the five 'main' parties and there is evidence of sympathy for the one single issue candidate.  For all I know there will be people who vote for the other two as well.

As the election nears, I become more anxious, not so much about how I will vote (I am now down to three options!) but because I'm just a wuss and hate conflict or confrontation.  My sensible head tells me that unlike last September's binary vote, this one is inherently more varied, so hopefully emotions will be slightly less raw.  But I'm still anxious... partly because of my own increasing sense of rootlessness, partly because of the potential to increase tensions across Hadrian's Wall.

PAYG this morning was centred on John 14: 27 - 31, 'my peace I give to you'.  One of the many texts we used on Sunday. The reflection suggested that this 'peace' is in fact that which prevents us becoming paralysed by fear, anxiety or uncertainty.

I think I have to keep reminding myself of that promise in the next few days.

I am feeling disproprotionately pleased with myself now I've completed my jigsaw.  Many, many hours of patient searching sorting, inserting, removing, rotating, delight and frsutration, and  now I have the complete image of this amazing painting... well until I smash it up again so that I can get my kitchen table back!

I discovered a love of jigsaws in the early days after my surgery four years ago, when I used them to try to regain my concentration... four years on it is still not great, and now there is is scientific research to support that assertion!  I blogged about it here and here and again here and here.

I have enjoyed working may way through this jigsaw - even the slog of the final 100 pieces, requiring utter focus and concentration, and a little dull to be honest.  And the whole process gave me plenty of pause for thought as I reflect on ministry in general and my endeavours in particular!

Whilst I'm less enthusiastic about finding tidy edges to what we might term ministry, it certainly needs to be bounded for practical reasons if nothing else.  Identifying and defining those bounds is not always easy, and sometimes the edges do change, or bits have to be rearranged because they don't quite fit.

There are aspects of ministry that are easy, energising and rewarding, just as there are aspects of a jigsaw that can be quickly identified and put together to reveal part of the image.

There are times when, for whatever reason, and they are many and varied, a piece gets put in upside down or in the the wrong place... just as in ministry sometimes things don't fit or don't work or I just plain old fashioned get them wrong.

And sometimes it is all just a long, necessary slog of piecing together sky or sea, or in this case oxen.  And sometimes ministry can be like that too - lots of effort and little evidence of achievement.

Finally the last piece is in place... well never in ministry, but there are those moments of euphoria when it seems as if it all comes together, at least for a while.

Not a perfect metaphor, for sure, but one that has helped me reflect a little, and I think verall that's good.

And above all, some relaxation as I've plodded my way through the jigsaw... now I really do have to get the housework done!!

Last night's television adapatation of Lisa Lynch's book "The C  Word" and her blog 'Alright Tit' was something I was keen to watch and at the same time a little apprehensive about.  During my treatment I dipped in and out of Lisa's blog, and never linked it, largely because at the time she was in her shortlived NED phase so the degree of resonance wasn't that great.  But there is absolutely no doubt that the blog and the book have been greatly appreciated by countless younger, and not so young, women affected by breast cancer (and their families and friends).

It was good to watch the adaptation - inevitably interpretted and selective - noting the similarities and differences along the way. 

For me there were two scenes that had special resonance...

First was the scene where Lisa comes into the bedroom having washed her hair, and half (or more) of it has gone.  I remembered that all too well.  I blogged about it here.  What I didn't do was to post a photo of what I looked like without a scarf (I changed my profile picture to me wearing a green scarf that went with my suit).  Seeing the actress (who really did have her hair cut, thinned and shaved for the part - much respect) standing there reminded me of a photo I took at the time, which I reproduce here in a 'small' version, as it might be a bit uncomfortable to look at...

The other scene that I found very striking was right at the end, when, following the death of one of her online friends, she met the other two.  I am told that this never actually happened, as Lisa's own health was failing and another of the girls died, nonetheless, symbolically it echoed the deep and wonderful friendships that are formed among people arising from shared adversity.  I have enacted similar scenes in Glasgow, Edinburgh, London, Derby and Morecambe.  This photo from last summer is of the Squirrels in London... when we meet again in Blackpool we will be one down, as one girl is no longer with us.  And  we will continue to live, love and laugh.  Because if the C-word teached you nothing else, it's that life is for living.