I am feeling disproprotionately pleased with myself now I've completed my jigsaw.  Many, many hours of patient searching sorting, inserting, removing, rotating, delight and frsutration, and  now I have the complete image of this amazing painting... well until I smash it up again so that I can get my kitchen table back!

I discovered a love of jigsaws in the early days after my surgery four years ago, when I used them to try to regain my concentration... four years on it is still not great, and now there is is scientific research to support that assertion!  I blogged about it here and here and again here and here.

I have enjoyed working may way through this jigsaw - even the slog of the final 100 pieces, requiring utter focus and concentration, and a little dull to be honest.  And the whole process gave me plenty of pause for thought as I reflect on ministry in general and my endeavours in particular!

Whilst I'm less enthusiastic about finding tidy edges to what we might term ministry, it certainly needs to be bounded for practical reasons if nothing else.  Identifying and defining those bounds is not always easy, and sometimes the edges do change, or bits have to be rearranged because they don't quite fit.

There are aspects of ministry that are easy, energising and rewarding, just as there are aspects of a jigsaw that can be quickly identified and put together to reveal part of the image.

There are times when, for whatever reason, and they are many and varied, a piece gets put in upside down or in the the wrong place... just as in ministry sometimes things don't fit or don't work or I just plain old fashioned get them wrong.

And sometimes it is all just a long, necessary slog of piecing together sky or sea, or in this case oxen.  And sometimes ministry can be like that too - lots of effort and little evidence of achievement.

Finally the last piece is in place... well never in ministry, but there are those moments of euphoria when it seems as if it all comes together, at least for a while.

Not a perfect metaphor, for sure, but one that has helped me reflect a little, and I think verall that's good.

And above all, some relaxation as I've plodded my way through the jigsaw... now I really do have to get the housework done!!

Last night's television adapatation of Lisa Lynch's book "The C  Word" and her blog 'Alright Tit' was something I was keen to watch and at the same time a little apprehensive about.  During my treatment I dipped in and out of Lisa's blog, and never linked it, largely because at the time she was in her shortlived NED phase so the degree of resonance wasn't that great.  But there is absolutely no doubt that the blog and the book have been greatly appreciated by countless younger, and not so young, women affected by breast cancer (and their families and friends).

It was good to watch the adaptation - inevitably interpretted and selective - noting the similarities and differences along the way. 

For me there were two scenes that had special resonance...

First was the scene where Lisa comes into the bedroom having washed her hair, and half (or more) of it has gone.  I remembered that all too well.  I blogged about it here.  What I didn't do was to post a photo of what I looked like without a scarf (I changed my profile picture to me wearing a green scarf that went with my suit).  Seeing the actress (who really did have her hair cut, thinned and shaved for the part - much respect) standing there reminded me of a photo I took at the time, which I reproduce here in a 'small' version, as it might be a bit uncomfortable to look at...

The other scene that I found very striking was right at the end, when, following the death of one of her online friends, she met the other two.  I am told that this never actually happened, as Lisa's own health was failing and another of the girls died, nonetheless, symbolically it echoed the deep and wonderful friendships that are formed among people arising from shared adversity.  I have enacted similar scenes in Glasgow, Edinburgh, London, Derby and Morecambe.  This photo from last summer is of the Squirrels in London... when we meet again in Blackpool we will be one down, as one girl is no longer with us.  And  we will continue to live, love and laugh.  Because if the C-word teached you nothing else, it's that life is for living.

This morning I used the cakes I baked yesterday as a way of illustrating how metaphorical 'cakes' get sliced up.

The big chocolate cake, made with ingredients that were, as far as possible, Fairtrade, organic, free range, British (Scottish) was used to look at how trade works out... that the largest single slice (more than a third) goes to multinational and shareholders whilst a tiny amount (less than a fifteenth) goes to the growers.  When I took a small piece of cake form the toddler was representing 'mulitnationals' and gave it to the person representing 'growers' she cried real tears.  An enacted sermon/parable if ever there was one!

We also used a couple of pie charts I found online to look at how the UK Government slices up its cake/pie and we sliced up one cake to represent education, health, social protection, defence, inland security and international aid as well as 'everything else'.

Time ran out, so we didn't slice up the third cake, but we did explore how the 'social protection' cake is further sliced, between state pensions, disability payments, housing benefit, job-seekers allowances etc.

No message, just the realisation that tough decisions have to be made and there are no easy answers.  I did suggest that I doubted I'd get elected on an "I will increase your taxes" manifesto, even if I would gladly pay a bit more if it meant that welfare, education ands health were sustainable.

The cakes tasted pretty darned good, even if I say so, who shouldn't!

This is going to church tomorrow - but why?  You'll have to be there to find out!!

Yesterday when I was reading "Those Who Show Up" two Bible passages were brought alongside in a way I've never seen before...

The Genesis assertion that humanity is made in the image and likeness of God

The question (and response) of Jesus about paying taxes to caesar, asking whose image was on the coin.

This is what happened when I started to ponder what it said...

The image on the coin is the image of a man who is made in the image and likeness of God, a man whose authority (at least ontologically) derives from God.  The coin is held in the hand of a person made in the image and likeness of God, a person who has (arguably) a kind of dual nationality being part of the Kingdom of God and part of Caesar's local jurisdiction.  Or, from another angle, the locality is ontologically part of God's juridiction and the flawed, finite endeavours of human powers are capable of being transformed more into the likeness of the Kingdom, the eschatological horizon to which we aspire.  Which I think means that we render unto caesar that which is caesar's, which is a subset of that which is already God's.  Then, rather than washing our hands of what caesar then does, we are to engage in the messyness of transforming what caesar does with the taxes by campaigning, lobbying, getting involved in local or national politics and organsiations, and praying.

Whether that paragraph makes any sense, I have no idea, but it made me ponder and I kind of liked the way it stretched my mind.  Sometimes it is a tad easy to 'pray' that it'll all come right as if that was somehow separate from our own daily choices.  The book has certainly challenged me to reflect on my own forms of engagement.